Answer: It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t care about what the other person wants. We should only “pretend” that we want to treat them this way.
People don’t have to tell us about their secret desires and thoughts. We should try to connect only with those desires and thoughts that are intended to create a community that is more advanced than ours, although it’s the same for all of us. We shouldn’t take any interest in one’s personality, one’s family relations, nor in anything that pertains to their material life. All we have to concentrate on is one’s aspiration upwards, to the next level. That’s why we shouldn’t get into their “animal” psychology and interrogate them: “What are you thinking about? Tell me more about yourself, so that I can communicate with you better.” Why? You shouldn’t do it.
It is better to talk about the next level and communicate at that degree; let’s play “as if” we are already there. Let’s imagine what kind of society it will be then, what our attitude to the family, children and their upbringing will be at that time. It’s not that we are simply sitting and contemplating how good it would be there, but rather we deliberate about how to make the entire society integral.
In fact, we are playing a very serious game! The “speaking level” in us is being created solely by us, not by nature. Nature only stimulates us to act; we are the ones who are supposed to attain this level. Let’s ascend to it on our own before nature begins to force us. Let’s voluntarily be born at the next level; otherwise, we’ll get there anyway, but by huge affliction. No matter what, nature will make us do that.
Contrary to all prior levels, we should be aware of and recognize our ascent. People should tune themselves into such a mode by playing this game and getting trained in various voluntary groups that are heading towards a breakthrough. On this basis, we’ll broaden the integral methodology, add more ways to participate in the process, and increase the number of games.
Although, the games shouldn’t be too extensive since we don’t ponder on animal psychology, but rather play “as if” we are already at the next level: “What does it look like? How do we build our social and family relations, and our economics? How exactly do we feel unity? What are integral nature and integral humanity? What are integral intellect and feelings?
Let’s penetrate into these things and we’ll see that many new layers that seem totally amorphous and lifeless today will be revealed to us; we have to make a breakthrough and penetrate into them by applying serious efforts. When we overcome the psychological barrier and are born into a new dimension at least a little bit, we’ll see a huge world of new sensations and knowledge that are beyond our matter. In our world, there are only three types of matter: inanimate, vegetative, and animate. As to the “human matter,” it’s about the energy that is “deprived” of the material substance of this realm. We’ll see a totally different layer of the world, a new dimension.
From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 2/29/2012