Egoism Is The King Without The Crown
The Creator created creatures in order to bestow them with good because His nature is goodness. By virtue of His perfection, He has the property of bestowal and wants to bring us to the same perfection, the same bestowal, but we have to want this bestowal, to feel the need for it.
A need is felt only from its lack, its opposite. I feel like I need something that I do not have; I want to be somebody else, not myself. This difference is called the need. This need comes not from the Creator but from the creature itself. It is called aspiration.
In order to reach an aspiration, that is, to reach a conscious desire, we need to put in efforts. If we work to achieve something we know of in advance, it is called “work within reason.” If we work to achieve some reward that is unclear to us, it is called “work above reason,” meaning, against the mind. That is why our work is to aspire to that state which we have to achieve. In order to enable us to develop this aspiration, we are confused by the impression that we want to achieve fulfillment.
However, in reality, we must achieve equivalence of form, and this is an entirely different goal. We feel the need to fulfill ourselves. Everyone does their best, to the extent of their own abilities, to realize it at the still, vegetative, or animate levels, but the true contentment that comes to us is called “human” and is not simply to satisfy our desire. Desire at the human level is filled by a sense of similarity to the Giver, similarity to the Creator.
This is called the Light, fulfillment. The more I am like Him, the greater the feeling of fulfillment. This is no longer a little light, but the full Light of NRNHY (Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Haya, and Yechida).
Our task is to look for this fulfillment, imagine it and the desire for it, and to discover the methodology that enables us to approach it. Instead of searching for contentment for your animal body via various pleasures beyond what is necessary, we need to aspire to fill the human within us by bestowal, similarity to the Creator.
If I ask to make myself similar to the Creator, I reveal Him. If I ask to satisfy my animal inside me, then, depending on the level of my development, I usually get the opposite effect in order to turn me toward the purpose of creation.
That is why a person always is between two forces leading him to one goal: the force of holiness and the impure, egoistic force. They both operate on a person and direct him, but most likely, we are driven by the evil inclination because our nature constantly forces us to look for egoistic fulfillment. Through all kinds of shocks, disappointments, and unpleasant adjustments, we hold to the right direction and, thus, advance.
Therefore, the impure force is called the “kingdom without the crown” because it does not aspire to reach the royal bounty and wants only to fulfill itself. It confuses a person and cultivates his egoistic desire along with his feeling of emptiness and helplessness.
Gradually, next to this feeling, our mind begins to grow. Eventually, a person sees that his desires, as well as his mind, have grown due to the fact that he has not gotten what he desired for a long time, and now he finally sees that this is not the path of advancement. He sees that he should go in a different direction. Thus, through the “opposite” force, we advance toward the purpose of creation.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/4/2011, Shamati #17
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