Question: I have an unpleasant feeling that even in a hundred years I will not understand the texts of The Zohar. What should I do?
Answer: Just as man wanted to “acquire” this whole world in the past, now he wants to acquire all of spirituality. This desire by itself is fine, but the moment such a thought occurs, a person should understand that there is a paradox here: I reach spirituality when I give up everything.
How can I, with my great desire, want spirituality so much and at the same time, give everything up? This is impossible—unless I receive the second force from the environment, the force opposite to my desire to achieve spirituality without any connection to others: “What do I care about them? Who are they? Do they exist at all? I only have to deal with the Creator! And as far as I am concerned, you can all vanish.…” This is what man is like, and everyone who is greater than his friend has greater egoism.
Yet, despite all this I still reach total devotion, whereby I yield to everyone and want only to bestow, to such an extent that I will get nothing from it, and I will not even know that I bestow. This is because the mere thought of bestowal is already a reward. The environment should enable me to do so.
On one hand, there is the cruel, uncontrollable force within me: the desire to enjoy, and as much as possible. I am simply burning with the desire to attain spirituality. On the other, through the group, the Light has to influence me with the opposite attributes. This is called “Aviut (coarseness) of the desire from the bottom and the screen from Above.” And then I will have the vessel (Kli) for the spiritual revelation.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/27/2011, The Zohar