Question: How can I, during the preparation period, when I haven’t reached spiritual revelation yet, determine that each day I value bestowal more and more?
Answer: You can evaluate it by your own internal sensation, thoughts, goals, and importance of the group, by how much you appreciate and hear the friends, by how strongly you feel that you need them all the time, like an infusion, and that if you don’t receive their support, you will fall.
This feeling is very important. To depend on the environment is to be free from your ego! You must strive to always depend on the friends and feel them as strongly as possible so that they influence and protect you as much as possible, which means to constantly receive from them a special illumination, an impact of the force.
We need to try feeling that only this keeps us in the correct direction. If the environment doesn’t impact me from the outside, I lose the aim for the Creator.
And then, try to connect everything in one place, in one integral desire: yourself, the friends, and the Creator. I, they, and the Creator should not exist separately, like the vertices of a triangle; rather, we have to came together into a single desire, in the same area.
And if I and they are concerned with each other, care about, and bestow to each other, it means we free between us the space for the Creator’s revelation. He becomes revealed between us!
If the environment doesn’t affect me, I am not able to break free from my egoism and think about something outside of its interests. And hence, to depend on them is to be free from egoism. If the society influences me, I feel how it directs me to the goal.
I appeal to the environment (1); the environment influences me (2); I aim myself to the Creator (3). It cannot be otherwise! If not, I will be pulled back into my egoism. I will actually feel how it is sinking me and pulling my legs down. But the environment will immediately give me strength to tear away from it and ascend, and then I will become one with the Creator.
Every time you feel that it starts pulling you down more and more, give it another round (1-2-3).
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/17/2011, “Introduction to the Book, Panim Meirot uMasbirot”