Answer: Goal-oriented pleasure is pleasure from bestowal, and the only way it is possible to enjoy bestowal is when you love the person you are giving to.
So how can I achieve love? By virtue of correction, by replacing hatred with love. Who or what makes this correction happen? The Upper Light.
When does it happen? When I ask for it. So when will I ask for it? When the group obligates me to do so.
When will it obligate me to do so? When I lower myself before the group and in it find the force that obligates me.
So when will I finally lower myself before the group? It will happen when we work on this together with the friends.
And that is where we stumble….
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/11/11, The Zohar