We make many efforts, and with each effort we have to make the calculation, “If I don’t do it for me, then who will do it for me?” We must do everything possible and discern where exactly we should put forth efforts—in the unity with others, the place where the breaking occurred.
We have to try to restore the unity of that broken place so it will become integral again, so we will all be as one man with one heart and live in mutual guarantee, meaning in perfect, systematic unity. Sometimes it seems to us that we are able to do this, and sometimes that we are unable. We want help, but cannot ask for it because we don’t feel the real need for it yet.
Thus, stage by stage, a person lowers his head and gets ready to make new efforts. He starts working again and again in this broken place in order to reunite it. At the same time, he knows that he has to keep working until he comes to need help, and without that desire the help will not come.
Yet at the same time a person has to believe that there is none else besides the Creator. Then every effort is followed by despair and a new necessity.
A person has to go through all of these phases one after the other until he accumulates a great desire, until he reaches total despair in his own powers. That is when he breaks through the gate of tears with the right cry or request. All of his efforts come together, standing across from all of the Lights that came to him, causing him to despair and leaving him with a sensation of greater emptiness. He tried but could not find what he wanted, until it suddenly became apparent that he did not try, and he found. In other words, the action itself is not done by him, but by the Light, which carries out his desire and unites him with others into a single Kli.
Then, inside this vessel a perfect Light is revealed, the perfect quality of bestowal, the Creator. That is how a person eventually reaches his “finding.”
His efforts, help, despair, and cry—everything he accumulated at the previous degrees finally takes on the right form. Everything merges together into the right desire and the right decision. And all of this happens by virtue of all the things that a person has gone through on the path.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/9/11, Writings of Rabash