In order to build spiritual degrees, I need to add the matter of desire time after time. The height of every new degree corresponds to the heaviness of my current state in which the evil of egoism is revealed.
This happens in all the states on the spiritual path. In order to elevate me, I am given additional ego, and then I feel the evil. Afterwards, with the help of the environment, I recognize the evil and gradually cognize the fact that it does not occur incidentally. Then I try to relate it to the goal: It comes from the Creator who is good, and it is meant for my own benefit. Later, I begin to connect my state to bestowal, meaning that I elevate bestowal above reception.
Then gradually I build a vector, an attitude, from this evil. I raise the importance of bestowal and unification over the receiving desire. Thus, having formed this attitude, I rise to the next degree.
I stay on the new degree for a mere second, after which everything disappears. If during this second I do not find the next receiving desire in me, I will immediately descend. The crudest but must accurate example is sexual pleasure. As soon as it ends, I become completely empty, and I need to begin something new.
Therefore, when I rise to a degree of love and bestowal that I desire so greatly, I instantly need to reveal a new egoistic desire. It must be revealed in order for me to rise to the next degree This desire is already instilled in me in the form of Reshimot (informational records), and I only need to work with them. Otherwise, they will be revealed after a long period of time, after a few months, for example.
However, I seek for them now, in darkness. After all, the absence of changes is "night" for me. Even the best possible state turns to night if it is not renewed. Therefore, we constantly need to be ahead of events: Instead of just maintaining the speed, we need to accelerate it.
Thus I search for my new, even greater egoistic desire. I don’t "invent" it; I search for it. And when I find it, I repeat the same stages of work. In this manner, I work on the "bride," until I correct it completely and go on to the "groom’s festive meal." The method is simple: I raise bestowal above reception by working in faith above reason.
Every new degree "ruins" the previous one, turning faith into egoism, and I begin the ascent again. Meanwhile, it seems to me that I have lost everything that I achieved, but actually I correct a new portion of egoism according to the principle of passing degrees: "Keter of the lower one becomes Malchut of the upper one."
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/10/2011, “What is the Feast of the Groom”