One’s success at studying The Book of Zohar does not at all depend on one’s ability to mentally arrange everything it describes. For example, one day you might leave the lesson very excited about everything you were able to feel and understand, and happy about being able to understand what stands behind the names and words in this book. But the next day you leave the lesson disappointed, thinking, “I did not understand anything! The material was so dull and I just couldn’t concentrate. I made efforts for a few minutes at best, out of the whole hour and a half of the lesson.”
The truth is that you aren’t able to assess the situation correctly; your greatest gain came precisely from those several minutes when you were able to make an effort. We don’t know anything about the Upper World or ourselves, or the conditions for revealing it. All of this is concealed. However, if a person gives all of himself and makes efforts, then precisely when he is in a state of not feeling fulfilled or interested in the study, when nothing “shines” for him, yet he desires to prove that he wants to attain bestowal – that is the best time and the best state.
I can tell you from my experience that it often takes me several hours of working on the text of The Zohar until I begin to break through the barrier separating me from it. But it is the greatest joy in the world to feel how that impenetrable wall between us begins to dissolve…
The corrections you perform during those hours of “numbness” are the most important effort you can make on your path to the Creator! It is precisely in response to this effort that the Upper Light comes to you, instead of everything else that comes easily. Therefore, this hard work is the best possible state.