Question: Are the differences between men and women really so enormous that they are unable to understand each other?

Answer: I don’t think that there is another science other than Kabbalah which can explain how much we differ. In spirituality the power of bestowal is a male force, whereas the power of receiving is a female force. However, in contrast to our world, receiving in spirituality is positive and vital.

Until we reach the end of correction, these two parts of nature are equal and absolutely opposite to one another in every detail and quality. Even at the stage of final correction nature remains intact and both parts remain opposite to each other.

However, as a result of the correction that is performed by each part (male and female), they are brought so much closer together that they become like one whole. It doesn’t mean that the differences between them disappear; the basic differences still remain, and the detachment that was created at the beginning of creation doesn’t “fade away” completely. But the process of correction brings them to equality, unity, and even to adhesion.

With the help of the method of correction called “the wisdom of Kabbalah” both male and female parts improve, and we are able to build new types of family relationships, arrange our lives in a correct way, not to mention the ultimate reward which we sense in the revelation of the Creator between us.
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From Kabbalah for Beginners, “Men and Women” 10/14/10

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Question: Does the mutual guarantee pertain to women as well?

Answer: Both men and women, regardless of their gender, must reach the state of the mutual guarantee. When we say that the men stood at Mount Sinai and the women surrounded them, this reflects the inner spiritual properties of each one of us.

The “woman” represents the desire to receive pleasure, while the “man” is the symbol of overcoming this desire. “Man” is “Gever” in Hebrew, which comes from the word “Hitgabrut” or overcoming. He is the desire to bestow, which discovers the opposite property of Mount Sinai, “the mountain of hatred” inside him.

But unity and the mutual guarantee pertain to everyone. Women need to try to connect with everyone internally, just like the men. But the men also need to express it externally, while the women experience it within.

Moreover, the women must “pressure” the men. This is because according to his nature, a man tends to listen to a woman, his wife. His wife is a mother to him; this is how he perceives her.

The prototype of a man is Zeir Anpin who is located between two women, two Nukvas: Malchut and Bina. His mother is Bina, and his wife is Malchut. He receives the desires from Malchut, and he turns to Bina for its fulfillment.

In other words, he is unable to turn to Bina without Malchut, and once he has turned to her, he is left with no other choice but to pass everything he has received from Bina to Malchut. This is the way a man operates. And this is why his wife replaces his mother subconsciously in many ways.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/12/10, Shamati #1

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Question (from a woman): We have been talking about the fact that we have to ask for everything only from the Creator. But what should I do if I am shy? Or maybe I am not even worthy of asking Him for anything?

Answer: I would advise you not to ask, but to demand. And women know how to do this very well. 🙂

On a more serious tone, if we are ashamed to ask the Creator, it means we feel that we are still distant from Him, that we don’t have anything in common with Him.

Men often feel proud at first and behave like little roosters: "Why would I ask Him for anything? What should I ask Him for?" So on one hand, there is shame, and on the other – pride. Yet, both of these sensations will gradually pass. If a person becomes included in the group, it happens very quickly.

I would advise you to be more insolent. 🙂 The Creator likes it when a person says, "I deserve this. You have to help me!"
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From the lesson on the article "There Is None Else Besides Him" on 11/12/10

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Our world is egoistic. Everything here is based on egoism, authority, status, and power. That’s why a woman plays a secondary role in this world.

A man enjoys more power and independence than a woman. He is not as attached to his house and children. He conquers space, discovers continents; his imagination and enthusiasm are stronger, and he is more passionate in playing games. Men go “wild” in this world.

A woman, by nature, is more moderate and represents a more serious force. She balances out this world, she embodies the power of a household and family. From the point of view of continuation of the human race, she is the most important part of nature.

But since our world is egoistic and aggressive, men who possess strength, freedom, and ability to break through usually hold positions that they don’t deserve. Consequently, they define many things in this world, whereas women treat them with lenience and compliance.

This applies to everything: religion, science, everyday life, career advancement, and salary. Men leave to women only those places that they are not interested in. This is how unfairly our egoistic world is built.

But the wisdom of Kabbalah speaks about a totally different (reverse) reality where everything is governed by the force of bestowal and love that evens out all dissimilarities and contradictions. We have to give weight to everything which is worthy of it. This is what nature, harmony, and perfection demand from us, not to mention the wisdom of Kabbalah.

If we transition from receiving to bestowal, we will see a reverse world in which a woman (Malchut which translates as “Kingdom”) occupies an essential place. She is the one who rules!

It is derived from the structure of the spiritual worlds. A woman (Malchut) is positioned in the core of all the worlds, and everything there is exists only for her sake since she is the one who gives birth and develops a new world.

That’s why only with the help of the wisdom of Kabbalah a woman can reach her genuine purpose and attain an adequate and fair status that she naturally deserves.
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From Kabbalah for Beginners, “Men and Women” 10/14/10

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Question: There is a famous prayer that states “I thank you for not making me a woman.” A woman rightfully asks, “Why doesn’t it say, ‘thank you for not making me a man?’”

Answer: This prayer is about the force of overcoming. When a person surmounts his evil inclination, he blesses the Creator for giving him the force of overcoming. We are all (men as well as women) under the influence of the female part, in the power of the lack. A woman is “Nekev,” “Nekeva,” “Nukva,” which means emptiness, need, or the place of a lack.

Meanwhile, men experience the sensation of a lack not less than women, and they feel an even greater emptiness. Therefore, if we are talking about spiritual correction, each of us (a man or a woman) who can conquer our egoistic desire, gives thanks for the fact that we have become worthy of this analysis and correction, that we can rise above our egoism, unite with others, and reach adhesion and revelation of the Creator.

We reach the corrections where men and women go through the same stages. Women who advance with us on the spiritual path go through the same states, ascents and descents, unification, and clarification like men. Due to their nature, we don’t feel the same kind of explosions in them as men experience, but nonetheless they go through the same processes. They understand us perfectly, study the same material, absorb and realize it.
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From Kabbalah for Beginners, "Men and Women" 10/14/10

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Question: We know that recognized Kabbalists rely on the written, not oral, folk Torah. How does Kabbalah view the prohibition of sodomy (Leviticus, 18:22): “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination.”

Answer: Kabbalah does not speak one word about the corporeal world and our bodies. It deals exclusively with each person reaching the equivalence of form with the Creator, whatever inclinations each one might be given by the Creator.

I, personally, do not see any difference in attaining the spiritual goal by people with any tendencies, as it is written about the Upper Light: “I will heal all flesh.” Therefore, it’s not our job to deal with the body. We only need to attract the Light, and it will heal what is necessary.
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Question: Is there a difference in the spiritual development of women and men, and what constitutes this difference?

Answer: If we look at the historical process, we see that as soon as Abraham began to reveal the wisdom of Kabbalah, he received an order to adhere with his female part: “Listen to what Sarah tells you.” Everything is determined by the female part. What a man reveals is revealed by him in the woman, meaning the male part of the soul in the inner female part of the soul and the man in the woman. Rabash wrote and spoke repeatedly about the fact that in the corrected society, in a corrected family with a man and a woman, the husband and a wife are in the process of revealing the Creator between them. The husband perceives the wife through the Creator and the wife relates to the husband in the same manner. They constantly feel that the Creator dwells between them. That is, I know that I received her from the Creator. And if I perceive her as a part that can help me reach the Creator, then I am truly realizing myself.

Question cont.: In other words, my wife is my partner on the spiritual path?

Answer: She is not just a partner. I see her as a companion chosen for me by the Creator. And if I treat her this way, I don’t just address her. I address her and the Creator at the same time and feel that she relates to me in the same manner. It seems like an unnatural contrast, but it is very natural because it is very goal-oriented. It turns out that at every moment of my life, from the most intimate to the most common situations in the family, and even more so in public and in the world, we begin to treat each other like the Creator dwells between us. We feel that this Force needs to bind us together, fill the voids between us, and correct the rejection and hatred that rises up between us. The Creator Himself comes to fill this space and unite us with each other. We can begin to realize this in the family, the closest place for every person, and continue it throughout the whole world.
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From Kabbalah For Beginners, "Men and Women" 10/14/10

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Question: Can women cross the Machsom (the barrier separating us from spirituality)?

Answer: Undoubtedly! In our history, there have been many women who existed in the spiritual world. Our foremothers, prophetesses, were among us until the latest generations, and we hope that in our generation this tradition will be restored.

Question: Were these prophetesses Kabbalists?

Answer: A prophet is anyone who speaks with the Creator, and the Creator is revealed with the help of the wisdom of Kabbalah. Without being a Kabbalist, it is impossible to become a prophet and attain the level of the forefathers.

All the women that you read about in the Torah were spiritually enlightened and felt the Creator. For instance, take Batya whose name means “the Creator’s daughter” (Bet, Yod, Hey): On one hand, she was the daughter of the Pharaoh, and on the other, she raised Moshe (Moses). Where did the righteous women that raised men like Moses come from?

No matter how much we think that the world is run by men, history develops thanks to women. We study in the science of Kabbalah that the connection between the spiritual degrees, the previous and subsequent states, is accomplished through Nukva, the Malchut of each Partzuf, each rung. Therefore, the female part always gives birth to a more advanced state, and the connection is passed on from one female part to the other through the male part. It is opposite to what takes place in our world.

Question: How do women cross the Machsom? Is it like men do or in some other way? Men unify in the group, in love of friends, but women are not subject to that.

Answer: Women receive the mutual guarantee that is attained by the men as well as the force of the screen. Their unification cannot be the same as the men’s since every woman acts individually. They have a different form of unification: through the men.

It turns out that the male part cannot achieve connection between the spiritual levels without the female part while the latter cannot unify without the men’s help. Therefore, the Creator resides specifically between the male and female parts. Otherwise, we cannot reveal Him.

Moses led 600,000 men out of Egypt that were 20 to 60 years of age, and the rest were the elders, women, and children whose number was five times greater than that of men, and without whom it would have been impossible to advance. Hence, Kabbalah leads to the correction of the family unit, and it is namely a woman for whom Kabbalah guarantees a good future.
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From the Kabbalah for Beginners, “Men and Women,” 10/14/10

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Question: Is there a distinction between men and women with respect to preparing for the World Kabbalah Convention 2010?

Answer: There isn’t any difference in preparation. We must prepare our hearts. We should know the congress schedule, topics of all the lectures, seminars, discussions, and cultural programs in advance, and we should learn all the songs. Let us anticipate a spiritual gift!

If we prepare ourselves at the corporeal level and know everything in advance, then it is all for the best. We will open our hearts to the internal surprise, to the revelation of the connection between us, men and women alike. And then, the Creator will be revealed between us. Amen!
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From the Kabbalah for Beginners, “Men and Women,” 10/14/10

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Question: Is a man’s wife one of the "neighbors" or "friends" who he needs to “love as himself?”

Answer: Our life in this world is arranged so that we have to connect for the sake of the spiritual goal in our families too. This is a consequence of the highest and brightest spiritual root, and it applies to every person in the world.

As a result of the breaking, our souls have separated and become opposite to one another. This applies not only to the “man – Creator” or “group –  Creator,” but also to the “husband – wife” pair. We have come to the stage of the breaking of the family unit, so spouses, too, will have to realize the principle of “love thy neighbor as thyself.”

It works between a husband and wife the same way as towards other people. And when a husband and wife will merit this connection, Shechina, the Creator, will dwell between them. This means that in all their actions from the most material to the most spiritual one, they will strive to remain in one intention: to be connected only through mutual bestowal, the Creator.

Every person can reveal this, and this is precisely why the Creator divided the first man into two parts: Adam and Eve. This opportunity is already preset in every married couple in this world. I am convinced that we must correct this area. After all, until we bring all the corrections to their completion on the lowest degree, the corrections won’t exist Above either.

It is not enough to feel like we are connected. In this world, we have to connect in all our material things in a perfect form, like in the World of Infinity. And then these two vertexes, our world and the World of Infinity, will connect and everything will return to its perfect state. We need to connect these two worlds: the highest one and the lowest one.

For this reason, everything needs to be happening in accordance with the spiritual laws both in family life and in one’s attitude toward children and adults. And of course, when a husband and wife both study Kabbalah and are able to reach this kind of attitude and intention toward one another, this reveals opportunities to do one of a kind work that is possible only with a spouse.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/28/10, “The Love for the Creator and Love for the Created Beings”

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