Question: Usually a person is born and goes through a certain path in life. Most often, by the age of thirty, one enters into a stupor when all one’s plans begin to shake a little, and then he begins to think about the meaning of life.

You came to the wisdom of Kabbalah at the age of 30, and before that was there, so to say, a period of preparation?

Answer: Maybe, although I would not say that about myself. I wanted to come to the study of Kabbalah, it seems to me, at the age of six or seven.

Question: Does the current generation have such an opportunity?

Answer: It does not really depend on the generation. Of course, the current generation has it. But it also depends on how a person feels. As far as I can remember, I always felt that I needed it.

I am not an exceptional person. I just have such an attitude toward life, toward the world, that does not tolerate anything superfluous, everything must be neatly arranged; otherwise, this world is such a big mess that I simply do not want to exist in it. Not because “my head is small,” but because I do not want to tolerate disorder; I must put everything into a system.

In principle, the most important aspiration of such a person is to bring everything they feel in the world into a coherent structure, into a cohesive picture. Only then does the world make sense to them, and the person enjoys perfection, harmony, the interconnection of all things, and their mutual definition, what we on the human level call mutual guarantee.

For him, the system is something that encompasses our universe as its integral part. He must understand the structure of interaction, functioning, management, movement, and development. Without this feeling, he feels bad, he does not feel okay. He feels his connection to the entire system, to the entire cosmos (although it is more than the cosmos) that he cannot help but come to the perception of universal harmony.

That is the inner need I began to feel at four to five-years-old, and when I was twelve to thirteen years old, it became absolutely clear. Searches for the source of creation led me to study paleontology one moment, then astronomy the next.

It is very difficult for a person to navigate in our world where there is no flexibility. This compels him to seek inner harmony because it begins to help him perceive the world in its external rigidity as harmonious.

The lack of flexibility in the world leads a person to enter into the system of creation, to find integrity there, so that everything can be perceived well from the outside, and then he will be able to live. Otherwise it is very difficult for people seeking internal harmony in our world.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Laitman’s Childhood” 2/14/12

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