Question: Some researchers say that the secret to a perfect marriage is simple. You need six meaningful conversations, three long walks, and two fights every month. Two short and two longer vacations are mandatory. It’s important to say “I love you” up to 10 times a week, kiss three times a day, and embrace 11 times a week. Be proud of your partner in front of others, forgive bad habits, always concede to the other regardless of who is right. And very importantly, fairly divide household chores.
What do you think?
Answer: All these conditions make up a man’s prison. Hang up a big sign on the wall and set a reminder with a loudspeaker, announcing: “It’s time to talk about love!” 🙂
Question: So, “It’s time to kiss! It’s time to bring flowers! It’s time…” Won’t work?
Answer: You see, it’s a habit. It will work actually. If a person does it for a month or two, he will come to feel: “It’s been a while since I last brought flowers.”
Question: So the habit will become second nature?
Answer: “The habit is given to us from above.”
Comment: You were talking about the institution of men and women, the fact that upbringing is necessary.
My Response: It is education. It cannot be taken lightly as some sort of secondary schooling, but has to be nurtured within every family. Radio, television, all these things out there have to be incorporated in this education. Movies as well, anything really works, so it would be absorbed from an early age.
Question: So you support the statement we used to hear: “It is a healthy cell of a society. If the family is healthy, then the society is too…”
Answer: It must be so. You cannot replace it with anything else no matter what the times are! It evolves from human nature, the real one, which we have lost long ago. Who can take it? People live up to 100 years and 80 are spent with the same partner to whom you are constantly obliged.
Question: Maybe one can turn this obligation into a benefit? The fact that he is obliged to someone would be to his benefit?
Answer: Either way that’s very tough. We run away from our own mother after a few years.
Question: So these cells, these families, are falling apart because the individual cannot endure the pressure?
Answer: He cannot tolerate the limitations he is obligated to live within.
Question: Then the question is, how can they be tolerated?
Answer: By means of working out a number of variables. One of which is the necessity to do so given to us by nature, which we inhabit, and within this framework we attain our highest spiritual eternal state of being. So the family represents a kind of “production farm” in which we work on our higher self. This is the greatest opportunity, the chance for us to reach the spiritual state.
I don’t really talk about this during my lessons because it’s not for our present time yet. But it will happen!
Moreover, there is an absolutely clear distribution of responsibilities, opportunities, and reciprocal fulfillment in which children also play a significant role as they are included in the relationship between husband and wife according to their age and with the fact that they get to have their own children, grandchildren, and so on. That is, it is a “combine,” it is a whole system. It should be a huge complex “production.”
It will happen! Our world won’t be able to exist without it, but accordingly nature will lead us to it. So we are in for some tough years ahead.
Comment: You just spoke about children and their children.
My Response: It is all growing and developing. There must be and is obligatorily through three generations. Children should see their grandparents and parents and really feel them.
Question: What is an ideal family for you?
Answer: The ideal family is the one that will come to be and it will meet these requirements. At this point we are trying to lay some sort of foundation for this movement. But it is still very risky to talk about this. It appears as though we are loading the heaviest responsibilities upon ourselves.
Question: By whom, by you or the young people?
Answer: By everyone! At the point when one can actually see the inner essence of one’s partner and the years spent together mean nothing, the appearance means nothing, because everything is determined only according to their inner state.
It’s an extraordinary world that we’re going to build. And it will be spiritual! I won’t see the appearance of my partner, or their habits and so on, like I see today. It’s going to be a continuous renewal between us and within each of us.
Question: Are we renewing all the time? The same couple, but it is continuously renewed?
Answer: Of course. Not the same, but a new one in a way.
Comment: I’d like to live in a world like that.
My Response: 🙂 It has to be earned! We’re not there yet.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/6/22