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From My Facebook Page Michael Laitman 7/5/22
A viewer of one of my shows sent an email describing the following sad story: Several years ago, I started a business with a childhood friend. Many people recommended that we sign a business contract with an attorney, but it felt strange to involve lawyers in our close relationship so we avoided it and opened the business on the basis of good faith. For the first two years, everything was fine, but then the business ran into trouble and things started to deteriorate. We started blaming each other for our troubles, we lost trust in one another, and today, as much as I hate to admit it, we hate each other. This is killing me, Dr. Laitman, is there anything I can do?
I can understand why this viewer and his friend thought they did not need legal counsel, but their decision condemned their business and their friendship to failure. We are all egoists, and we all deny it. When our ego is happy, we think everything will always be fine. When our ego suffers, we think everything is bad. This is human nature. Actually, this is the nature of all things, but it is most noticeable in human beings.
Therefore, to remain friends, do not start a business with them. A sound business is not based on friendship, but on strict egoistic conditions that satisfy the interests of all the parties involved. A business requires making businesslike decisions, which have nothing to do with friendship, but only with cold, selfish decisions.
The essential role of lawyers, therefore, is not only to determine how a business should operate, but also what to do when things go wrong. If there is a detailed contract, there will be no disputes and the partners will know what to do.
When you mix business with friendship, you expect your partner to adhere to two different codes of conduct: a business code and a code of friendship. When there is a problem, the codes begin to clash, as it happened to this viewer. Then, either the business or the friendship falls apart.
If I enjoyed playing soccer with a certain person as a child, it does not mean I should do business with him. On the contrary, it probably means I shouldn’t.
Since this viewer asked me for advice, I would suggest that he and his friend contact a good lawyer and seek advice on how to rebuild their connection. It is not simple, and it may be too late, but this is my advice now that they have made the mistake and are trying to save their friendship.
That lawyer should rearrange the connection between them on a completely self-centered basis so that both parties can feel satisfied in the situation they are in. If no such arrangement is found, the two should part ways.
It is not as if there is no more room for reconstruction, but there must be a clear and solid egoistic basis for their business and non-business relationship. If they are both satisfied with it, they might be able to rebuild from there.
I hope that in the future, they will learn not to ignore human nature. We are egoists, and we should behave accordingly. Then, above our egoism, we should build connection, but without undermining our basic nature.
Medium published my new article “Fear Comes from Absence of Love”
The more chaotic the world becomes, the more stressed and anxious we become, as well. Insecurity about the future is causing trepidation, and the only thing that seems certain is that we cannot trust anyone and have no clue what tomorrow will bring. There is one culprit behind our fears and anxieties: We are hostile and hateful toward each other, and where there is no love, there is fear, and lots of it.
Not only people are afraid. We find fear in pets, animals, and even plants, although we do not label it as such. Fear does us a great service: it is a sentinel that warns us of falling into dangerous pitfalls, a protective mechanism that all living beings employ.
It seems reasonable to think that progress should have made us more confident. It seems as though technology can protect us better than if we lived in caves. However, development has brought with it a slew of unfamiliar dangers with which we have no idea how to cope.
In the past, hazards were just as formidable, if not more so, and truly existential. For the cavepeople, for example, venturing out of the cave meant being vulnerable to attacks by predators. However, fear did not cause panic because people knew the dangers and how to protect themselves from them. Today, countless elements and factors affect our lives and the lives of our loved ones, and we cannot know them all, cannot see them coming, and do not know how to overcome them. Naturally, this puts us in a state of constant pressure and anxiety.
The more we evolve, the more self-centered we become. In fact, since approximately the turn of the century, we have reached such a level of egoism that sociologists are speaking of a “narcissism epidemic.”
As we are growing increasingly sophisticated and increasingly narcissistic, we are developing increasingly complicated systems that leave us powerless and mistrustful of them and of each other. Because we do not like or trust each other, we are erecting protective shields that increase our isolation, alienation, and thus our fear.
If we want to feel safe, we need not work directly on increasing our confidence. On the contrary, we should put aside our excessive preoccupation with ourselves and focus on developing care for others, since the lack thereof is the reason for our fear.
A sense of security does not come from fighting against hatred; it comes from striving for connection, for caring. The only malice that exists is in our hearts. Its cure is not to uproot it but to instill consideration and ultimately kind-heartedness.
A person preoccupied with caring is not afraid of anything. Caring for others is the greatest gift one can receive. If we can build a society based on consideration and care, it will be a society of confident and happy people, since there is no fear in the presence of love.
Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Why do people get stuck in life?“
Sometimes we feel like we did our very best, that there is nothing else we could have done, but it is as if life itself does not let us move, and we feel stuck. We reach such states where we cannot do anything else by ourselves in order to ask for help. At such points, we hand over our destiny to the greater force in nature, the upper force, and depending on how we turn to that force, we exit that state and move on.
Getting stuck in such ways is excellent because it is the sole place where we can change our destiny. That same force of nature, which is a force that guides our development, leads us to stagnation precisely in order for us to feel that we cannot continue by ourselves, and that we need to ask it for help. Then, if we ask for help in a way that corresponds with the upper force, we gain contact with it, and there is no greater sensation in life than making such contact.
While discussing the upper force in such a way might seem strange, unexpected or disagreeable to many, if we are talking about our destiny and the purpose of stagnation, then leading us to a request from the upper force is the ultimate purpose of our getting stuck in life. There is a program in nature, and according to its program, we are stuck. When we get stuck, we no longer know where to turn. Beyond the life we know is a program in nature that controls us. Therefore, by turning to that program, to the upper force that controls our lives, we can effectively change our destiny and enter into contact with it.
Moreover, we do not have to believe in the upper force. One way or another, we live our lives without choosing how or when we do so, nor what is going to happen in the next moment, and surely not when we get stuck. Therefore, turning to the source that is behind the scenes, controlling our lives, organizes our lives in return. We ask that force to clarify what is going on, and by entering into contact with it, we gain a behind-the-scenes view of our lives, understanding why things unfold exactly the way that they do, and feeling a great source of fulfillment enter those places in life that were incomplete and lacking.
Based on the video, “Why Do People Get Stuck in Life?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Oren Levi. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
States will be compelled to enter into a union of peoples where each, even the smallest state, could expect its security and rights not from its own forces, but solely from such a great union of peoples (Immanuel Kant).
Question: Is peace possible not from one’s own forces, but from a common alliance?
Answer: The world can be only like this. One is nothing. One in the world equals zero. Only the interaction between such units, which in general are zeros, can give everyone the feeling of self worth. Not he himself, but his association with others is what they create among themselves.
At the same time, all zeros seem to add up together and it turns out to be not zero, but rather something big, because everyone annuls himself and adds up with others, giving everything from himself and absorbing everything from the rest.
Only by sharing, only by investing themselves in others and others in themselves, do they come to a state where everyone has value. Because it is in the union that each of them can reveal their individuality.
This process should take place at all levels.
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 3/4/22
Preparation to the Lesson
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Lesson on the Topic “Advance by Overcoming”
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Writings of Baal HaSulam, “One Commandment”
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