Michael Laitman, On Quora: “How do people discover true love?“
We first need to understand that we have no idea what true love is. Until we reach true love, we interpret love in all kinds of corporeal and egoistic ways, i.e., where we primarily benefit ourselves from whatever we picture as love.
True love, however, is completely different. True love is the ability to benefit others, to sense others’ desires and to enjoy via their fulfillment. The realization of true love is by nature contrary to how we define love in corporeal terms.
True love is ultimately the unification of humanity into a single common system. We currently experience this system in its opposite form, through egoistic lenses, where we constantly try to benefit ourselves at the expense of others and nature, and by doing so, feel a certain degree of separation and distance in our attitudes to each other. By aiming to unite above this egoistic state we find ourselves in, we discover our rejection to each other, and eventually arrive at the realization that we need to rise above our differences, and forms bonds of true love. The more that we feel growing distance between us, the more we will develop a sincere desire to bridge this distance with a genuine attitude of love and care.
True love is thus the unification of opposites, when hatred and rejection become covered in a common umbrella of love. The more that we move toward unification above our inborn egoistic distance, then the more we will begin to sense a new kind of atmosphere entering our lives, giving us a much fuller feeling of fulfillment than everything else we have enjoyed to date.
The discovery of true love entering our lives is thus an opening to discover the perfection and wholeness existing in reality. Instead of feeling a narrow and detached sensation of life in our inborn egoistic qualities, we would “click” into a perception and sensation of reality similar to how cells and organs function and feel the whole organism that they are parts of. In such a state, we would feel constant fluctuations between the negative-egoistic and positive-altruistic poles of reality as we would continually cover our differences and divisions with a much greater force of unification. As such, we would feel ourselves in an eternal world where life constantly ebbs and flows.
When we transition from our inborn egoistic mode of wishing to benefit ourselves at others’ expense, to an altruistic mode of wanting to benefit others, we feel our instinctive egoistic impulses as negative forces that we rise above. By rising above the ego, we sense forces of connection, giving and love—the positive and eternal forces dwelling in nature—and complement each other in a common tendency to make that shift.
This fateful shift depends solely on the extent of our unification, where we rise above our differences and divisions and start fulfilling one another. The feeling of mutual fulfillment gives us a sense of eternal life.
To discover this true love, we need only learn how to upgrade our connections, to mutually complement and fulfill one another, and to replace our egoistic lenses where we see flaws in others, to ones where we feel any egoistic impulse as an invitation to unite above the differences.
Based on the Daily Kabbalah Lesson with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on December 22, 2020. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.