Question: You said that we must stabilize internally the desire for the gift that the Creator wants to give us. Isn’t this an egoistic desire?
Answer: It is a very nice prayer. I want that all my desires will not be attracted to different unimportant matters but that they will be focused on what the Creator wants to give us.
It doesn’t matter whether it is an egoistic request or not. The Creator wants to give me a present, but He only can give it to me if I really want it. However, I don’t have the desire for it.
The Creator has created me the way I am on purpose so that I will ask Him to create a deficiency in me for His gift. It is because we connect by my request, and thus I reach adhesion with Him, begin to understand Him, turn to Him, and ask Him to help me.
“How can I help you?” It is as if He begins to speak to me and to clarify what I really need. He begins to play with me. I check things, “No, this isn’t right; I need one less and the other more.” The Creator is revealed a little in His posterior, and I begin to understand a little of what I need, and what I don’t, in order to reach the right vessel.
Thus, I get to know Him, connect to Him, and begin to converse with Him. We become partners. I cannot operate by myself in the process of the correction of creation, which means in preparing the vessel for receiving the gift. I need the Creator because I actually don’t know anything.
The gift is concealed at the moment and the Creator plays around with me so I gradually get to know Him. I don’t get to know the Creator Himself because I never will be able to feel Him. However, I learn and attain Him through my connection with the friends as I look for a way to connect to them.
We go out to disseminate, hold workshops or a convention, connect with the outside world, and this is all considered as the clarification of the vessel for receiving the Creator’s gift. Everything is aimed at that.
From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/29/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam