An Arbitrator

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Suppose a married couple is actively involved with integral interaction, the wisdom of connection, and they want to include their child. How do they do this?

Answer: It is easiest to add a child into the process through a game. He can play a judge who asks his parents questions, while you try to solve them specifically through integral interaction. You can show him how to solve different situations in life, and he will learn from this.

We must put the child in a situation where his ego will motivate him all the time: “I am an arbitrator asking questions between my father and mother, and they must immediately solve and answer them.” This means that you raise the child to your level since integral interaction can only occur between equals.

By being included with them, he will ultimately feel that he is equal to you in responsibility, reciprocity, and the considerations of adults.

Question: Suppose a father of a family has a dilemma at work: whether to quit and look for a new job or to stay. Can the parents invite their child to a family discussion and discuss the situation together with him?

Answer: Certainly. But you need to do this with great care, gradually, so that the child will not leap to conceit thinking he can decide about all questions in life.

Question: At what age could a child participate in family discussions?

Answer: This depends on the family we are discussing. In one family it would be possible to involve the child even at the age of eight or nine, and in another family only from the age of twenty. But if it is clear to him that the relationships of his parents are based on mutual trust, mutual support, then he will gradually begin to be integrated into this, not actively himself, but seemingly from the side.

After all, in every case, integral interaction, the wisdom of connection, influences him even if he doesn’t know a thing but simply sees his parents looking at interesting websites, reading books, and having discussions about this between them. Without a doubt he will absorb all of this, and then it will be possible to gradually draw him into this.
From KabTV’s “Talks with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/11/13

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