If her father refuses to give her to him [in marriage], he shall weigh out money according to the dowry of the virgins.
“An unengaged girl” stands for an egoistic desire that cannot be used correctly. That’s why, relative to this person, this desire of his is considered “a virgin” who cannot be his, and yet he seduces her and thus receives a certain pleasure through fulfilling the desire.
One is prohibited from doing that since his desire is egoistic and doesn’t lead to bestowal. That’s why one has to pay, meaning “refill” the screen, the part of the action that one has not committed yet.
If he paid for the girl, meaning had a screen to work with her (his desire) seriously, then he would be allowed to marry her, to receive an egoistic pleasure. Otherwise, in the spiritual world it is considered to be a serious crime since it stands for the interaction that takes place in a Kli, a vessel, which is completely unsuitable for this person.
It is said that such a man is overwhelmed by his passion similar to the way it happens in this material world. It seems to him that he is able to treat his spiritual desire correctly and use it for bestowal, although later it turns out that he was not able to do it. Thus, he is obligated to use an additional correction and start working with his quality of bestowal over again.
Question: So, it means that the “seduction of a virgin” can happen subconsciously?
Answer: There are countless situations in life. Spiritual life is much more complicated and complex than ours. It has a huge amount of variations. Only after one starts acting can he acknowledge the quality of his desire and tell if he acts knowingly or subconsciously, whether it is a debauchery and seduction or simply a lack of knowledge and a misunderstanding. Who knows, maybe one had a good intention and all of a sudden it turns out that he cannot implement it into reality and it should be considered a violation. In other words, if one used a vessel that one should not have used because it is beyond one’s capacity, one cannot endure it.
It is only about working with a desire! Whatever we touch in the Torah is about the correction of desires that consist of the inanimate, vegetative, animate, and internal speaking levels of nature. The Torah explains everything in an allegoric way.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 7/16/13