Answer: It is no secret that we love only ourselves—not even the people closest to us, not anyone else, but only ourselves. When can we love something or someone outside of ourselves? It is if we invest ourselves in them.
If a mother does not take care of her child, she does not love him, and, if she is given someone else’s child, continuously takes care of him, and raises him, then he will become as her own because she invested herself in him.
It is the same with anything else such as, let’s say, an artist and the picture he has painted, and so on. If I put my work, my effort, and my desire into something, then, to the extent of my effort, this object becomes dear to me because it contains part of me. I myself am in this object.
So, if for many years, we invest in the group, it becomes close to us, dear, and we cannot just leave it (if we truly invest in it).
It is a condition that you must work for the friends all the time. Then, you will begin to feel that they are close to you, and this gives you a chance to feel their desires. After all, it is precisely those desires that you receive from the group that you turn to the upper Light and it begins to shine on you.
There is no point of turning to it with your desire; it will not work. That is why we try so much and in vain. In addition, if we take the group desires and turn them to the Light, we will succeed at once. Try! You need to invest in the group. Then, it will become dear, and we quickly will feel the upper world.
From the European Convention in Germany 3/23/13, Lesson 5