Question: What is the friend’s role in the integral system?
Answer: The role of the friend is enormous and invaluable. A person ascends to the extent that he or she helps all the others to unify. A person never works for himself directly, but always through the others.
In our world, I always pursue my own goal: I place myself and all the others in order and calculate what is best for me. Even ten people later, the benefit still has to return to me.
In the spiritual world, it isn’t the case. There, I calculate how much I can contribute to others so that it stays in them, not in me. My egoistic “self” eventually dies away, and what I have invested in the others (as I would in the bank, except that it would be to the others’ account rather than mine) remains. In the end, when I rise above my “self,” everything I had invested in the others becomes mine. It is as though I live in them, like a mother who lives in her children whom she takes care of.
The spiritual world is founded on this maternal attribute: on bestowal, love, shifting from oneself outward. As a result, we start experiencing ourselves living in others, and this state is perceived as eternal, complete. It isn’t dictated by my own state of existence, including my body. The body may even die, but “I” already live in other desires, other properties.
From Lesson 4 Berlin Convention 1/29/2011