The Friend Is My Mirror

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: We say that I see myself in the friend, but which part of him exactly is my reflection?

Answer: If I consider a person my friend, then he really does become my mirror. If I see something negative in him regarding my spiritual advancement, then I should understand that this negativity is within me and that my perception is simply distorted.

As for other people, it is a different story. It is clear that I should remember that they represent the Creator, but, in that case, they don’t represent the external reality as a replica of my internal attributes. We need a serious study in order to treat people on the outside who are not members of the group correctly. To the extent that the first part of the system is revealed as GE, we will learn to treat the AHP correctly.

So, it is only in a friend that I should see my reflection. It is as if the Creator puts a mirror before me at a certain angle and each time shows me a certain part and says that I should look at myself, at my flaws. He reflects my attributes outwardly, dresses them in different figures, and presents them to me.

At the same time, when I look at the friend, I don’t attribute everything to me, but only what belongs to the spiritual path. However, this already depends on the level of connection. If I love someone, I don’t see any flaws in him; I simply love him. People say that it is a habit, but it isn’t. On the corporeal level, my desire to receive doesn’t want to suffer and so it guards itself. I get used to the flaws of others, and it is as if I don’t pay attention to them so as not to suffer all the time. However, in spirituality, as it is written, “Love covers all transgressions.” Love covers all the sins, and it isn’t a habit, but the work of correction.

On the current level, it happens that I envy a friend since I see in him something better, attributes that I would like to have myself. It is painful. Do I thank the Creator for this pain? After all, He shows me that I am inferior to the others. I begin to regret and search, and this brings me to the question: Why don’t I actually love the friend if I see that he is better than me?

Thus, in the example the Creator presents to me, He shows me an opportunity for advancement. Otherwise, I would have remained “dead” on the level of the still nature, but now, thanks to the envy, lust, ambition, and even hatred, I have “fuel,” a “fuse,” and I cannot sit still.

Sure, I can calm myself and say, “Nonsense, it only seems this way.” But, I can do the opposite, hold onto the feeling, and plan how to exit the negative attributes that were revealed, to make a real plan of how to rise.

Question: But still, do I have to attribute all of the friend’s negative qualities to myself automatically?

Answer: You are right; the animal attributes are irrelevant. If, for example, he is too hasty or a bit lazy, it is nature that has given him these attributes. Someone may be slow and another may be too loud; everyone has a collection of innate, corporeal attributes.

We are speaking about an inclination to change, about the fire that burns in a person. This is what you need: reasons to feel envy. Do you envy his innate attributes or his sensitivity and his yearning for the goal?

Question: Suppose I see that the friend is sleeping during the lesson, and I understand that it is actually I who is sleeping. How can I make use of that? After all, I don’t find any flaw in myself.

Answer: It is very simple. If you are not sleeping, then he isn’t sleeping either. Include him within you, and try to wake up his image inside you. Even if he continues to sleep during the lesson, he will receive everything through you.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/29/13, “A Speech for the Completion of The Zohar

Related Material:
Everyone Has A “Point In The Heart”
Holy Envy
Who Are You, My Friends?

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