Question: When the addition of ego rejects and throws us off the goal, we go to the group to receive help. At the same time, how can we not erase or extinguish this new situation? Because it needs to bring us benefit.
Answer: It depends on the group: it should be like a commando, it needs to value the toil.
Question: What out of all this depends on me?
Answer: I am happy about my connection with the group, and I am sorry that I am not yet in adhesion with the upper. You need to imagine the desired state and then the lack of being in conformity with the current reality inside you; you will invite sorrow that should later become pangs of love.
Let’s assume that I attained some spiritual state, and then what we call, “I hit my head” and suddenly I forgot the goal and found myself some place, in the movie theatre. I enjoy eating popcorn, drinking Coke, and seeing an interesting movie; this is not suffering, but pleasure from disconnection from the main thing. Moreover, I enjoy not only beastly pleasures, but rather that I’m disconnected from spirituality.
But then the lack of meaning in my life again reminds me of His existence, and I begin to return. I go back to the group again, listen to the friends, and annul myself to them from lack of choice until they again begin to influence me with the importance of the Creator, the importance of the goal. They wash my brain with blatant propaganda that is mixed with a lie, but I intentionally go through all this and eventually the goal becomes important to me.
Then I receive with love everything I experience: the forgetfulness, the pleasure at the movie theatre, and the descent of the value of spirituality in my eyes. Whether I want it or not, this comes from the Creator and I had to go through this in order to be corrected.
Now I begin to collect inside me other sufferings, torments of love, because I as if want to reach adhesion and connection, but meanwhile I don’t have even suffering for that, I am still not even sorry that I am not there, I don’t have a real deficiency or even a lack for the deficiency. I only have a tiny bud of something, and from this great distance, I begin the path.
The question that arises is: What am I suffering from? That the Creator, so to speak, is rejecting and throwing me out? Or that that I still did not achieve the goal? And here the main thing is to worry that my suffering will always be sweet. Because whatever happens, I receive everything from the Creator; therefore, every state needs to be justified and joined to the goal where all these situations receive sweetening and correction.
Baal HaSulam writes in Letter 5: I am glad in those revealed corruptions and those that are being revealed. How much I complain and I regret the corruptions that still are not yet revealed, and will be revealed, because corruption that is concealed is hopeless, and a big salvation from Heaven is its revelation.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/23/13, Shamati #9