Reaching the “Gate of Tears” means seeing that you are nothing but a heavy stone that cannot be lifted, a desire that cannot be moved by your own powers; all its movements are made only by energy that comes from the outside. So, all our work is to find the means to induce this help from the environment.
It is a very important point in which we were given free will. Just when a person loses his powers and doesn’t see how he can do anything, when he feels despair or just weakness, when he loses his motivation and his hope for the future, he suddenly feels that he cannot move by himself. There is no will power that can pull him forward towards the goal or at least some small thorn that will spur him from behind and will force him to move.
It is in such a dead state that the free will to advance by one’s own powers appears, not by strange powers, whether they are negative or positive, but by finding the powers to advance by himself. He shouldn’t look for these powers inside him, but rather start working with the environment, and by its power climb up to the Creator.
But a person should be very sensitive to that in order to discern in such miserable gray states the momentary opening of the Light when you can enter and perform your action.
Suddenly an opening for the Light appears, within the multitude of desires, into which a person can penetrate and use in order to break through. One must constantly wait for that moment in the most lifeless state, when a person feels powerless and has lost all taste in spirituality. Even in that state it is possible to be sensitive.
When one feels despair or indifference, he still has to keep his sharp perception, waiting expectantly that within this state he will be able to leap outside. It is as if there is a solid wall before you and suddenly you notice a tiny crack; You penetrate it and from there you discover the way out. It is there, in this dark state that you find how to attain fulfillment.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/6/12, Writings of Rabash