Higher degrees in the spiritual world differ in their quality, not quantity. It is how well a person feels the difference between his egoistic intention and bestowal in relation to other people and the Creator. He gradually begins to understand that his suffering must be built on his realization of evil, the depth of his egoism.
It is written: “Everyone who mourns for Jerusalem is rewarded with seeing its joy.” What is this suffering and grief about? Is it about my lack of fulfillment? And this refers to the preliminary, egoistic stages of development “Lo Lishma.” But at the same time, sometimes one already understands that he should not make calculations for himself.
Possibly a person is ready to reveal that he suffers because he does not receive the desired—so that he can rise above it. He does not want to be fulfilled in this desire; he wants to be fulfilled above it, to acquire the possibility to bestow instead of receiving. In other words, he makes a calculation above his ego.
There are many “heroes” who supposedly overcome themselves and suppress their desires by fasting or making other such efforts. But all of it is done according to an egoistic calculation. One desire simply becomes replaced with another, stronger desire, and hence the person feels like there is much to gain from it since everything depends on the importance.
But it is impossible to justify the importance of spirituality in our previous perception—I am simply unable to feel or convince myself that I should attain spirituality. There is no justification for this.
I can imagine that I will have both this world and the future world, eternity, and perfection. But there comes a time when I understand that I do not have anything. So what do I do then, how do I move on? The energy to move comes from the Light, from an additional source of energy being revealed to me, which allows me to rise above myself.
This is why there are different degrees of states that a person who wishes to attain the spiritual world undergoes. It is “supposed” spirituality as he doesn’t know what it is and only somehow imagines it on the zero level of his egoism. Then I descend to the first degree of my ego, build the first degree of my advancement into spirituality according to it, and I begin to value it a little.
And this continues until I complete all the breakings, all the falls of the temples of sanctity that I have built, seen, and attained within me. I come to a state when I reveal that all these broken desires of mine, in reality, are absolute sanctity.
And all the past states, the entire “destruction of Jerusalem,” of the so called “perfect city” or “absolute fear” (Ira Shlema), become included in me on all 1-2-3 degrees of egoistic desire, until I reach the 4th degree, the complete end of correction, which is not even my private correction, but the general correction. All these previous degrees already become included in me as degrees of sanctity, being in the state of bestowal— although it’s not yet in absolute bestowal, a perfect desire (vessel). It goes on until I see a “rebuilt Jerusalem” in its joy, feeling it in my desire, the corrected perception of reality.
And then I see that all the past states were necessary for me to comprehend this perfect state, where I was from the very beginning. There are no different times or states—everything only happens in my perception to the extent of my desire created by the Creator. But through my own efforts I reveal what He has created, and for this reason I acquire a perfect vessel, State 3 of the End of Correction.
Essentially, all the downfalls and corrections happen inside our realization on the path of the revelation of perfection. It follows that those who did not “mourn for Jerusalem” will not merit to see its joy.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/9/2011, Writings of Rabash