When we begin to study the wisdom of Kabbalah, we think that it will be easy and will continue to provide extraordinary inspiration one usually feels in the beginning. But with time, we have to start digging deeper, inside our own egoism, and then the experience becomes unpleasant.
The body doesn’t really want to get up for the morning lesson, go study, neglect rest, think and feel that I’m distant from spirituality and unwilling to connect with others, or worry about bestowal and knowing only how to receive.
Thus we begin to experience the “foundation pit” being dug in our hearts. And later on everything is determined by how far we can reach into our ego. It can be done with the help of the environment since a person cannot do it alone. No matter how unpleasant it is and how much egoism hurts, the person will be willing to find out how opposite he or she is to bestowal, having none of its properties. And from one’s despair, from all the descents and lack of inspiration, he will advance.
This means that the foundation upon which we build the spiritual structure is not that pleasant. It is an empty “abyss” dug in the heart; it is our digging into the “earth,” our own desire, the darkness, the realization of our egoism and opposition to bestowal. And only someone who is able to bear it and is willing to work so methodically, by having built the supportive environment around oneself, will have the required strength and won’t fear digging deeper into himself and moving forth.
Thereby, he will establish a foundation upon which he will be able to erect his building, meaning that through the group, he will demand the Light that Reforms that will construct it for him. The deeper he will be digging within, the taller the house he will be able to erect. After all, it is written that “the Creator made one against the other.”
We start with the state regarded as “zero” and first, we take one step down, in order to later rise one step up. We take two steps down and ascend them again. Thus, we go through them all: 0-1-2-3-4, until, finally, we arrive at the end of correction having undergone four “exiles” and four “redemptions.”
We have reached the last state of exile now; therefore, what lies ahead of us is the last, total redemption.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/13/2011, Writings of Rabash