Question: When I feel repelled by the group, should I remain patient and not judge my friends?
Answer: You should judge yourself instead of them because the only reason you perceive them negatively is because that’s how your egoism sees them. The Creator gathered all these different people in a group and wants you to unite with them. He evokes dislike of them within you, and your egoistic desire pushes you away from unifying. This is called revealing evil inside of you, as it is written, “I created the evil inclination and I created the Torah for its correction.”
Now I have to attract Light during the study only for the sake of one goal: To unite with people in the group, whom I reject. I don’t need anything else. If my attitude to them changes as a result of the study, that means the Light of the Torah has influenced me and I have acquired the quality of bestowal.
In other words, the goal is not to unite with a friend or to correct your egoism. These are just means. The goal is to attract the quality of the Creator, His image, by means of attracting Light.
That is why things are arranged so that I push the friends away. It’s so I would need the influence of the Light, which will give me the quality of the Creator. Otherwise there is no need for it. That is to say, we shouldn’t think about the need to correct something, but about the fact that we attain the goal by means of the correction.
From the lesson on 2/18/11, Writings of Rabash