Question: It is unclear how I can enjoy bestowal and giving when I do not have anything myself?
Answer: We are not talking about material bestowal, meaning the still, vegetative, and animate levels of desire (although it is also important if done correctly). First of all, in order to bestow, we have to correct our desire and intention so that they are aimed at this form.
Bestowal doesn’t mean that I start stuffing you with all kinds of pleasures that you don’t need. To bestow, I have to first develop myself to such a degree that I will start feeling your desire as my own.
Your desire is next to me, and I have to attach it to myself as if it is my own. Then, I begin fulfilling your desire as my own, thereby turning it into mine. This is what wisdom of Kabbalah is all about (it means “the wisdom of reception” in Hebrew). Look at the sophisticated game here!
At first, I thought that it was someone else’s desire. Then, I crossed over this “psychological barrier” (Machsom), attached this desire to myself, and now I feel your desire as my own. You became more important to me than I am, like a baby to its mother, who sees the purpose of her life in it and is willing to bestow to it endlessly, thinking solely about her baby.
In the same fashion, I attached myself to you; your desires became more important to me than my own, and all I do is work for your benefit! This means that I relate to you in complete bestowal. And since your desire became mine, I feel pleasure in it. It is I who feels pleasure by fulfilling it.
In this way, I gradually re-attach all souls to myself. After all, they used to be part of my “self.” But I was suddenly cut off from all these parts, and instead, my mind was implanted with some “microchip” that makes me hate the parts of my own soul. And I start despising and hating them instead of loving them.
Now I need to rise above this confusion and overcome this psychological rejection. And as soon as I start treating them as my own authentic, integral parts that are inseparable in their connection with me, I will bestow to them and enjoy it!
I did this work, corrected myself, and now feel pleased. We are not expected to do anything else but overcome this psychological barrier and repulsion so that love may replace hate. Then, we will be truly enjoying ourselves.
You will feel that these specific parts, alien to you for now, are the foundation for the root of your soul. You will reveal the Creator in them in particular. And the part of the still, vegetative, and animate degree, which you previously thought of as yourself and your world, has nothing to do with you at all. It is the lowest level in relation to you. Who is interested if they live or die? And they do indeed die, and you are left to live with your soul!
Therefore, before you leave this material world, it would be better to reach at least the first degree of the soul. Then, you won’t regret parting with the body.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/17/10, “The Freedom”