The "Third Wheel" Doesn’t Hurt

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Is there a difference between the unification work I do with the friends in the group and with my wife to find the Creator between us?

Answer: Yes, there is a difference. If two people can unite so that the Creator is revealed inside their connection, even if it’s just in their imagination for now, then they will arrive at the spiritual attainment faster. The Creator is always present, but the question is whether we take this into consideration or not. If we are able to feel the Creator in our mutual connection, then He becomes revealed. If His revelation might disturb our development and confuse us, then He remains concealed, yet He always governs us from “behind the scenes.”

The Creator is present behind a person’s desires, thoughts, and actions since “there is none else besides Him.” However, I cannot work with Him directly since am unable to resist Him; I would immediately surrender and nullify my freedom and independence. This is why He is concealed. In this case, I see only a person in relation to whom I can act freely.

However, if we can manage to purposefully see the Creator behind each person by using our desire with the correct intention, we will very quickly uncover the true reality. When we do this work with the friends, various calculations and problems arise, but with a spouse, it is possible. If husband and wife decide to see the Creator behind their relationship (as it is written, “Husband and wife and Shechina (the Creator) between them”), then their connection becomes purposeful and exalted. And since it contains various forms and possibilities within itself, the couple advances rapidly.

The root of all problems in marital relationships is the Creator’s absence between husband and wife, although in fact, He is always secretly present there.
From the "Weekly Torah Portion" on 10/29/10

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