Answer: You shouldn’t pay attention to your desires. What difference does it make what is happening there and how bad things are? At the end of the day what can you possibly find there besides self-love which has taken you over and doesn’t let you ascend?
The most useful thing to do is to feel the degree to which I don’t accept the group’s opinion and goal, and the unity and mutual guarantee of the friends. If I am united with them, then I will always discover that that they are better than me at this. However, if I don’t have a part in their unity, this fact already indicates that they are higher than me.
It doesn’t matter what state they are in. Unification automatically puts them above me no matter how high I rise. That is because unity is the Kli with which the Light works, while an individual is nothing.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/21/10, “I Am the First and I Am the Last”