What Do You Do with an Unsupportive Wife?

What Do You Do with an Unsupportive Wife?A question I received: What should I do if my wife is completely against Kabbalah and constantly blames all of our disagreements on Kabbalah? I’m totally dedicated to Kabbalah and I only want spirituality. I’m actually considering leaving my family, even though it’ll cause me and my children pain. Why is the Creator arranging things like this? Should I leave her and start a new family? I was into mysticism when I first met her, but that’s all behind me now and I’m only involved in Kabbalah.

My Answer: I would talk to her, just like I did with my wife thirty-five years ago. I’d tell her that I’ll always search for my purpose in life, and for life’s purpose in general, because I’m empty without it. I’m not obliging her to do anything, but this is who I am and I cannot change myself. I can leave or I can stay – you decide. The answer will either be positive or yet another argument, but things cannot stay like this anymore.

Another question I received: Sometimes my wife and I argue. But I understand that this is a result of a growing ego. This makes me suffer, but I justify the Creator and keep going. What do I do with my wife, who sees this as something very different, as something personal? My Answer: In addition to justifying the Creator, justify your wife.


  1. What does a woman who studies Kabbalah do with an unsupportive husband?  What happens to the children?  Is it correct to believe that the Creator has put us in this situation for the good of all, or should I do what is important for me as a woman?

  2. Dear Rav Laitman my question is, does the same answer apply to a husband that is not supportive of Kabbalah?

  3. If your wife disagrees with kabbalah, she probably doesn’t truly understand it.  God blesses everyone of us; it doesn’t matter what confusions we have.  He’s planted within us all the desire to love– yes, it’s within all of us.
    Love to all of you– my dear ones!

  4. Wow Rachel and Tammy, I have the same dilema!

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