Fighting For The Record: The Bar Of Family Relations

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: I am confused by your suggestion to keep back one’s criticism regarding others. I am afraid that if I will not be releasing this, I will eventually explode or develop an ulcer.

But why does one need to look at every person with a critical eye? And if such a negative evaluation occurs automatically, it means that every second you have an opportunity to rise above your dissatisfaction higher and higher in order to see virtues in others instead of shortcomings.

It is as if you are constantly turning your initial impression around. You see how some wretched rascal is being naughty and suddenly you look closer and you recognize that it is your own son. Oh, what a mistake I made, since I thought it was the neighbor’s kid that was misbehaving. When I see that it is my son, I am only touched by his mischief.

Try to work it out well. You won’t be able to achieve anything on your own, but come to us for courses and seminars. You need to study, to train, and to get support from the environment where such an attitude is valued.

And then, you will not be accumulating any irritation inside of you and developing an ulcer, but on the contrary, you will feel pleasure! You will look around and will not see any shortcomings in anyone. Since all of the flaws in others that are irritating you today, belong to you. And then you will see a perfect world.

Question: But I will only reach such an attitude at the end, how can I live through the transition stage if I cannot make any critical remarks to my wife because she is my mirror? I must transfer all of that negativity onto myself. Not a word throughout the whole day, then I will simply explode! It is well known that it is much better for health and family relations to speak one’s mind immediately and not to be accumulating irritation inside yourself. But I must be silent?

Answer: You must hold a continuous workshop among the two of you, to exercise, just like at the family relationships courses where you were taught to speak with each other correctly. Discuss how you see each other and that it is a mirror, which shows you yourselves. Talk about the influence of the environment, about human egoism. If you will be discussing this continously and experiencing it, doing exercises, clarifying, how you see each other and why, then this will become a habit, which will become a second nature.

Such an attitude will become rooted inside of you, and the environment will help you not to forget about it. And in the same way, you will continue this at home. You never leave the seminar. You participate in it during the courses in order to later continue it for the rest of your life.

The workshop is not something occasional. It is like a diet, which once you have started, you cannot quit. And if you quit it, then all of your efforts have come to nothing. The seminar’s purpose is to give us a push for moving a little deeper inside into a more accurate clarification. However, we never fall out of this discussion, but we continue it. From seminar to seminar, we only raise the record ever higher with each time.
From a Talk About New Life 7/12/12

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