Question: Why do energetic women copy the male forceful approach? Where does this come from?

Answer: Out of having no other way to go, women are forced to solve the problems of life in order to provide themselves with what men do not give them. That is why they are forced to go through the education system and work hard while at the same time taking care of the home and raising children without a husband. As a result, today they are rising higher and higher on the career ladder, occupying newer and newer positions.

All of it is happening because men are running away from responsibility, from the part they have to take upon themselves. Women are accepting modernity’s challenge, but men are not.

Overall, the modern environment conditions us to be free, telling us, “Live however you want, no one can say anything to you.” People do not feel responsibility toward society, their country, their people, or the world. Do anything that comes into your head as long as you don’t kill, steal, or other such things.

However, this is opposite to what Baal HaSulam explains to us: According to the spiritual root, each of us is indebted to society. The calculation is not only with what a person takes, but also how much he fails to give. Each person has to work and contribute his share to society. Each person has to take on the burden of a family, raise children, and so on.

However, in our society it is not considered a transgression if a person does not contribute his share. A transgression is if he took more than what is accepted. In this situation we will continue to suffer until humanity finds itself “at the brink of death,” so to say. And maybe that will help.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/7/11 on Women

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Question: Does the modern-day equality of the sexes harm the relationships between men and women?

Answer: The “equality” that we establish according to our egoistic reasoning is not really equality, but a distortion of the laws of nature. In nature, the male and female inclinations are not identical, but on the contrary, they are different, opposite, and distant from one another by all possible inner and outer qualities of personality, life activity, physiology, and everything else. By drawing an equal sign between them, we crush nature and create a giant fissure that will not benefit anyone in the end.

I don’t have to explain what going against the laws of nature means. Instead of learning from nature and giving each gender the form appropriate to it, we are trying to do whatever comes into our heads at such a high level that this will bring us many more troubles. In the end, no one will be happy about this “equality.”

By nature I have to be a man with specific qualities and carry out a specific function. I have a niche that I have to take. That is the place of my appeasement, correction, fulfillment, and perfection. Therefore, I cannot indulge the egoism that rules over me and act however it wants me to by the orders of egoistic forces. There’s no doubt that all of this seriously harms things.

Let us hope that we will somehow go through the corruption to correction. However, there are many troubles waiting for us on this path.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/7/11 on Women

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Question: What should be done about the fact that men are afraid of strong women and run away from responsibility and initiative?

Answer: We have brought this on ourselves. Not one woman wants to be strong. Not one woman wants to be an expert in order to earn well and raise children by herself. By nature a woman aspires to the household. She wants children and for everything to exist according to nature. But if the men do not fulfill the responsibilities incumbent upon them, then out of having no other solution, women in our days are forced to act with their own forces. And I take off my hat to them for that.

As a result we see that women are more independent and they adapt better in our world. Besides, they have natural endurance that exceeds men’s. They have might and forces of the spirit because, at the end of the day, they are closer to nature.

On the other hand, a man simply floats up in the clouds. He is like a big child who found a profession in computers or technology and plays around with his toys just like he did in childhood. He finds pleasure in doing that. After all, modern society respects these games, such as the stock market, work, or hanging out with the buddies after work, and that’s how life goes by. And if a man needs support, he comes back to his mom.

Unfortunately, the further we go, the more widespread and socially acceptable this phenomenon becomes, in fact becoming a norm and a fashionable trend.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/7/11 on Women

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Writings of Rabash, Article 535 “On Partnership”: The husband works and brings home money, while the wife takes the money and her work lies in going to buy the food and preparing it, making sure that the meal will be tasty. Then they are both happy and satisfied. If the wife cooks tasty food, then the husband has an appetite and then he has the strength to go to work and bring home money.

Analogously, if the feet go out into the street and the hands buy food and give nutritional substances to the brain, then the brain has the energy to think.

This is how nature itself has arranged things, although in our times many things happen differently. In the end we have to become similar to nature. No matter how much we try to run away from it, we will have to come back. Obviously, we won’t be returning to primitive life in the caves, and besides, today there wouldn’t be enough caves to go around.

The essence of the matter is that every gender has to be provided with the appropriate field of activity for which it is intended, both in the spiritual sense and in its material projection. Everything comes from the spiritual world, and therefore, we have to study its laws in order to then turn to the material world according to them. In spirituality there are two Partzufim: male and female. The female part is the carrier of the desire, the “home,” and the “vessel” that has to be ordered the right way. But doing that requires the force that the male part brings.

Where should this force reside? What does it have to incarnate into? How should it be expressed? The answer is: in the female quality. The revelation of the male quality in the female one is the home, the children, and everything connected to the family.
Therefore, if we divide the male and female functions even in every individual, and if we skillfully arrange all the things in their right places, then we gain time and speed of development, reducing troubles and aspiring to the goal by the good path.

It’s worthwhile for us to learn from nature. After all, we can’t escape it. We are just small parts of the great whole. If we will know this and keep it in mind without trying to jump over our heads, if we act precisely according to nature, then we will reach the perfect state.

In this regard we have to understand that our incorrect functioning is a result of egoism. We are deliberately confused in order to have the opportunity to search for the right form of our activity in life without putting on airs as if we have risen above nature. Otherwise we are in nature’s power and in addition are also proud of being slaves to egoism.

Our work is, first and foremost, to make an analysis: Who are we and what are we, where are we located, where are we going, what controls and motivates us, and what do we have to reach? Once we discern all of these foundations, we can then establish the right order of controlling ourselves, both from above and from our own end. Then we will reach similarity to the upper image. We have to use precisely that image to learn how to build our lives here, below.

The matter here is not the fashion or the customs of the times. Nature has its own laws and it really is worthwhile for us to follow them.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/7/11 on Women

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Today we are in a transitional period. And when we begin the correction, the women will be exactly equal with the men.

On the spiritual path a woman has to set the desire, exert pressure on the man, and obligate him to advance. Similarly, in our world a wife pressures a husband to work and bring home earnings. And when there is a home and the means to exist, then we can give birth to children and raise them.

That’s how it works in spirituality as well: If we work on the correction of the soul together, then we give birth to new souls, new corrections. It is written about this, “Husband and wife, and the Shechina between them.” The revelation of the Creator occurs precisely between us, when we are together.

Both men and women have to contribute their share to these actions. No one is greater or smaller here. It is impossible to give birth without a woman. A new soul, a new spiritual Partzuf can only be raised by the force of the female desire.

In the process of correction no one acquires greater significance. No one is smaller or greater. Wherever something weighs less, something else counterbalances it according to the reverse order of the Lights and Kelim. Without a female desire a man is powerless, and a female desire without a male screen is also powerless.

Nevertheless, who is primary? It is the woman. That’s because the desire to ask for correction always comes from the woman. It’s the same in our world: Even though men think they succeed by their own abilities, in reality all of their activities happen only for the sake of women, only in order to acquire significance in the eyes of women. That is how we are built.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/6/11 on Women

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Practically all materials in the science of Kabbalah are devoted to women. That’s because we learn how to correct our receiving desire, called “woman,” with the help of the Creator, the “male” force.

There are two forces in reality: the Creator and creation, the male force that bestows and the female force that receives. Stated differently, these two desires, the bestowing and the receiving, unite in us, forming two halves: male and female.

A man (Gever – גבר) means the ability to overcome (Hitgabrut – התגברות), a screen. We divide the Kli into the male, giving side (overcoming, screens, intentions) and the receiving, weak part that is incapable of bestowal, which is described by the verse, “Her strength dwindled in the female quality.”

In our lives the projection of spirituality also creates a division into the male and female parts. In spirituality these two parts of the vessels unite together and inside their unity, the desire (Aviut) is the female part, whereas the screen and Reflected Light is the male part. Their unity gives birth to a Kli, and as a result a new Partzuf is born, the reception of Light for the sake of bestowal, or in other words, the birth of sons and understanding (Avanot – הבנות). That’s because next to sons there are always daughters (Banot – בנות).

By the division of roles in our world we clearly see what a man is intended for and what a woman is intended for. A woman is the “home.” Her purpose is to maintain it, to give birth to children, and to take care of the family household. A man’s purpose, on the other hand, is to go out of the house in order to bring back earnings. This is an exact copy of spirituality where the receiving desire is a female quality, while the screen over it is the male quality. When they act in agreement, they attain unity with the Upper Light, with the Creator, and as a result new Partzufim emerge that receive for the sake of bestowal, “sons.”

It is written, “Husband and wife, and the Shechina is between them.” This is talking about the spiritual world where the Shechina, meaning the Upper Light sets in precisely between the receiving desire and the force of the screen.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/6/11 on Women

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What is love in our corporeal world? It is an “animalistic,” material, egoistic love which enables us to enjoy one another. Parents instinctively love their children, and children instinctively love their parents, to the extent that they both receive what is desired from each other. And all this is filled with an egoistic intention.

Dampen the maternal instinct of a mother towards her own child and she will treat him the same as other children. He may as well starve, she will not care. This means that the parents’ feelings are an instinct and not love.

Love between sexes is caused by hormones. Inject a person with a certain compound, and his love will suddenly disappear, or on the contrary, awaken out of nowhere. This refers to a hormonal attraction.

All of this pertains to the animate level, and no more than that. Geneticists and biologists can explain the reasons for this in detail. But we naturally praise this feeling and attribute it a spiritual essence only because we receive the most pleasure from it, and accordingly, we want to elevate it in our eyes.

Moreover, there can be extreme love which causes a lot of damage. This is because when there are no limits to love, when it is devoid of tremor, it leads to hatred. When somebody loves me, I need to ensure that I do not allow them to love me too much, and they must ensure the same. Everything needs to have a true measure and proper weight. When love “overflows the boundaries,” it nullifies me, and then I begin to hate the person who loves me, I reject him or her.

We see this in the example of parents and children: The extreme love for a child causes disdain and hatred within him. And the child is not to blame; it is the adult’s fault since he does not limit his love, which means that he does not have a screen to go with it. We always must control the extent of our interaction. We will only be able to acquire “unlimited” screens in the world of Infinity, at the end of correction.

So, there is no point in speaking about love in our world as we only use one another as per usual. There is no need to reject or despise it, this is our life. For example, partners live together and take care of one another for many years. However, it is necessary to draw a distinction: Ultimately, I do it as a habit which becomes my second nature, out of desire and the egoistic impulses that awaken in me and become fulfilled by it.

But love in the spiritual world is absolute bestowal.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/4/2011 on Love

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There is nothing in the universe besides two forces: the Creator and creation. The force of bestowal is the Creator, while the force of reception is creation. These two forces are combined together inside of creation in order to enable creation to attain the Creator’s degree.

In other words, creation has a desire to egoistically fulfill itself and an altruistic desire to bestow. The only question is: What is primary, the desire to bestow in order to receive fulfillment for itself, or the desire to receive pleasure for the sake of bestowal? Everything depends on what we use reception or bestowal for.

When a person is at the beginning of the path of his correction, he is unable to hear about anything other than how to earn something for himself. Until he passes the Machsom, until he performs a restriction (Tzimtzum) on his desires, he sees everything only as an opportunity to extract benefit for himself. He simply cannot operate in any other way.

Therefore, all of his advancement takes place by the principle of “bestowal for the sake of reception.” He works in the group, comes to lessons, works on dissemination, and he is sure that he will be able to receive the whole world in reward. That is how a person advances, and this is called that he uses the force of the “woman” in him.

Gradually, if a person carries out the teacher’s advice, then inner changes take place inside him under the influence of the Light that Reforms. His progress is accompanied by alternating ascents and descents, states of uncertainty and confusion.

That is how he gradually comes to understand the value of the quality of bestowal in and of itself, rather than in order to extract benefit from it. Yet for now this only happens from time to time. The Upper Light brings him the sensation that bestowal is a great quality by itself.

Then he starts thinking less about himself when making all his actions and attributes greater importance to the group and the Creator. He thinks more about the state of the world and shifts from caring for himself to caring for the common good. This is called that the “man” in him, the force of overcoming (in Hebrew “man,” “Gever,” comes from the word “Hitgabrut,” overcoming) rises above the “woman” in him.

That is how a person gradually goes from Lo Lishma (actions for his own sake) to Lishma (for the sake of bestowal). This revolution happens drastically and suddenly, but the path to it is very slow and gradual.

When a person completely replaces the “woman” in him with a “man,” which now determines the path of his spiritual development, advancement towards bestowal for the sake of bestowal and then to reception for the sake of bestowal, then he is already working with the male force.

In the meantime, the “woman” is inside of him. She can either be his helper or help against him. Everything depends on his state. Then the right combination of the male and female forces occurs within him.
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From the lesson on 2/11/11 on Writings of Rabash

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Question: Is it necessary for us to get married?

Answer: On one hand, it is unnecessary to get married. On the other, we must understand that our world is created in similarity to the upper world.

Today, humanity is going through the process of the breaking of family units. In the near five to ten years, we will see that people will not be able to find one another whatsoever. Why get married? What is it all for? People do not feel the need for it. The very foundation of society has disappeared. We see the world changing so much that it seems to have come to its end.

Does a person need to be married to advance in the spiritual world? No, he does not. There is no need for this. However, to take on a greater similarity to the spiritual image, one needs to have a family, children, work, and live a so-called normal life which existed throughout the entire history. But this condition is not essential. This is why, today, Kabbalists do not insist on it.

It is more necessary for men than for women because men must have resistance. However, women, unlike men, do not need to resist; they do not need to overcome their egoism. A woman does work in the group, helps out, studies, and edits materials, and in this way she corrects herself through her desire to help and participate. She correctly includes herself in the common desire, the common Kli (vessel). It is not necessary for her to be married.

On the other hand, in order for a man to attain the spiritual world, he must make a lot of effort which is not comparable to the effort required of a woman. This is why he must get married, take care of his family, and work with friends. His spiritual work is special, difficult, and real.

It is not the same with a woman. It is enough for a woman to help out, participate, and be connected to a group. This way, she completely fulfills her role. It is not harder or easier. These simply are different methods of correction, different types of souls.

Previously in our world, a wife did not have to take care of earning money. A woman is made in a way to take care of the home. The wife is everything that concerns the home and the family, and the husband is everything that concerns earning and not the home.

This is the way things need to be in accordance with the upper roots, the relationship of Malchut and Zeir Anpin in the world of Atzilut. Essentially, our family unit needs to be organized the same way in this world as well. However, we already see the forms it has taken on in the current stage of development. There is nothing we can do; it is a mutation.
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From Lesson 2 in Moscow 1/16/2011, “A Prayer of Many”

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