Question: I have the feeling that my ego “steals” everything from me. I sit with my friends and it seems that I ascend my desire to receive, but then I feel that they are the ones who are doing that. I feel that I am in the dark, that I don’t hear anything, and don’t feel the Light. What should I do?

Answer: You should try to dissolve into the friends, like someone who is small or like someone who is new in a society.

When you come to a new society you don’t know anything and you don’t know anyone. You try to enter it without being too prominent or standing out. Suppose you come to a new work place, you simply try to keep quiet in order to discover, to see, and to feel everyone else.

This is how you should behave. Then you begin to feel what they have. You will develop like an embryo in his mother’s womb. Then gradually, to the extent that you begin to feel yourself as real and safe, you begin to express yourself together with everyone else.

Try to neutralize yourself and only be inside. This is enough, because we will create the field that exists here. You shouldn’t worry, if you do that, you will feel it.

Question: But in any case my ego will feel satisfaction in that. How can I avoid stealing from myself and from others?

Answer: Who says this is bad if you want to feel spirituality? It isn’t bad.

The goal of creation is to enjoy, to be filled, but in bestowing. You want to enter the group and to acquire that attribute of bestowal, and in it you want to feel pleasure. In the meantime that’s okay. We cannot imagine anything else.

The most important thing for us today is the yearning for bestowal, to bestow in order to feel pleasure. This is our level, called Lo Lishma, (Not for Her Sake).

When the Light comes and is gradually revealed in us, (this will happen only if we yearn for it that way), as a result of its influence we will begin to feel that the attribute of bestowal is above everything else, greater than everything, and that I want to be in it. Even if in the meantime it is egoistically, “I want to be in it.”

Then the Light will influence us in such a way that you will suddenly begin to detach from yourself, from the “I want.” Your “self” will suddenly begin to disappear and you will feel yourself “outside yourself,” outside the “self.”

Leave it to the Light! You cannot do it by yourself. You have to yearn as much as you can in all your desires, including the egoistic desires—and the Light will do all the rest.

This is a “prayer.” You are asking the Light to do this work for you. It created your ego and it is the one that will change the ego. Our yearning should be only for that in order to enable it to do this work.

If we yearn for unity, the Light will do all the rest.

We are all egoists. We don’t know and we don’t understand anything. We don’t know what will happen to us in a minute. We don’t know our attributes, we don’t know anything, and we are not required to do so. We are only required to do one thing, to simply try, to make an effort, and the Light will do all the rest.

The maximum unity in the group summons the Light, and then it changes us. We don’t have to do anything artificially. Everything will be taken care of and you just try to connect.
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From the Vilnius Convention 3/23/12, Lesson 1

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The attribute of bestowal is attained in the group, in society, under special conditions that are described by Kabbalists from the state that was prepared for us by the shattering of First Man (Adam HaRishon), the general soul. If we use the small environment that was given to us correctly, and in it, try to reach mutual bestowal, we will discover that we are in exile in Egypt.

We discover that there is no way we can attain spirituality, the Creator, the attribute of bestowal, if we don’t reach the love of friends first. But all our attempts to reach connection and love of friends end in complete failure, as it is written, “the Children of Israel cried from the work,” because we discovered that we built poor cities, Pithom and Ramses for Pharaoh, which means that we only increased our desire to receive.

Although we despair from this work, we don’t leave it and we shout: “Save us!” After all, our ego, Pharaoh, doesn’t let us connect, and if this goes on this way it will never let us leave the exile and attain the connection with the upper force.

This is really a cry of despair from the bottom of the heart. Then a special, general force called “Moses” is revealed. It is revealed in the group and goes through many changes. Once it is revealed and once it is concealed, until we stabilize this collective force and place it against our ego.

When we are ready to fight our collective ego that disturbs us from connecting by placing the collective force of connection called “Moses” against it, the life or death struggle begins. We support this force as much as we can and even above our power! Here we discover in our general collective point the help from Above. At this point, the Creator says: “Come to Pharaoh, let’s fight him together!” this means that He agrees to connect with our collective point, and so he takes us out of Egypt.

On the way different phenomena occur, which the Haggadah tells us about, and we have to go through all this. It refers only to our attempts to reach connection and to somehow fulfill it. Eventually we come out of this state, of our inability to connect, and attain what we wanted. The method of connection called Torah is revealed to us against the ego and the hatred.

Now the system we can use appears. It is called Torah, the Reforming Light that gradually begins to influence us in order to correct us. There is Mt. Sinai that separates us, the collective ego that stands in the way of the connection among us. When the Light corrects the hatred into connection, this mountain becomes the “mountain of Holiness.”

This is what the holiday of Pesach is about (from the Hebrew word meaning “to skip”), which symbolizes the transitions from exile to freedom. Exile is my inability to connect. I don’t know how to do it, but I yearn for it and demand it.

Redemption symbolizes the fact that I was given a chance, a system, a method that enables me to correct the evil in me and to turn it into good. Good means mutual guarantee, love of friends, in which I discover the force that enables me to fulfill this attitude and adhere to the Creator. After all, He is the goal I yearned for from the start.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/1/12, Shamati #41

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From a lesson of Rabash: We study that we should be in equivalence of form. What is equivalence of form? Just like the Creator bestows, so do we have to bestow. This is equivalence of form. When we have to bestow, we have no self-love, we cry. It hurts that we must do so. The Creator bestows, and the question is does He have pleasure in it or isn’t there pleasure for the one who bestows? So there is no equivalence of form! So there must be pleasure when we bestow, otherwise there is no equivalence of form. You can bestow without pain; bestow, I don’t need your pain, just bestow.

Enjoy the bestowal, who gives it to you? He should work, the body doesn’t want to! It isn’t that I need to suffer, there is no choice; the body doesn’t want to work. Why should I suffer; I don’t want to suffer. I need the exertion! And this isn’t a condition! A person who doesn’t feel the exertion, it is a sign that his intention is in order to receive, not in order to bestow. The body doesn’t agree to bestow.

You should never yearn for bad things. If it’s necessary to feel different changes, they will come by themselves. A person shouldn’t think about a descent, but always yearn for an ascent, both in his feelings and his thoughts: for goodness, adhesion, connection, and wholeness. But at the same time, a person should assess himself critically, understanding that if there is nothing inside him that objects to bestowal, it’s a sign that there is an egoistic matter here. If a person manages to advance happily and without exertion, it’s a clear sign that he does it egoistically, in order to receive. Only when he receives above the power of bestowal, will he be able to bestow and at the same time be happy.
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From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/1/12

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Question: How can it be that we shouldn’t ask to revoke the concealment, but at the same time, only the revelation can correct and connect us?

Answer: The question is what revelation am I asking for? I need to ask for the revelation of the attribute of bestowal, which I want to acquire. The Creator lets me feel that He exists but is as if hiding behind a curtain. All this is so that I will reveal Him. I can reveal Him only by developing the attribute of bestowal within me.

But what would I ask for now, in my egoistic desire? I ask that He becomes revealed in order to fill me, and this is why I am in concealment. The concealment protects my ego like a circuit breaker in a short circuit.

The concealment puts me at a certain distance, keeps me at a certain range, and lets me understand that if I correct myself, I will be able to get closer. And if not, I will stay at a distance.

Now the question is what I will ask for when being at such a distance: Do I ask that the Creator reveals Himself and fills me for my own personal pleasure, as if I want to enjoy myself, or do I first want to acquire the desire to bestow and in it, receive the filling, that is, do I want to be filled by the actions of bestowal and not by the actions of reception?

The concealment is meant to allow me to decide what I want.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/30/2012, “Preface to The Book of Zohar”

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I need to separate the outcomes of my every action and every state into two parts: 

1. The state itself came from the Creator, and it is always good;
2. While I, in accordance with my desires, can call myself either the “wicked” or the “righteous,” depending on whether I justify this state or not.

Moreover, which criteria do I use to justify it? If it is pleasant for me, then of course I justify it. What am I in this case then: the“wicked” or the “righteous?” I am the wicked because I justify the Creator egoistically.

It could also be the opposite: My state is evil for the will to receive and good for the will to bestow since it allows me to move forward. It turns out that the Creator is helping me by sending a bad sensation so that I don’t remain in the same place and instead realize that there are still things that require correction in my relationship with Him.

True and precise self-evaluations are always needed. Everything depends on a person who attains the given state, analyzes it correctly, and comes to a demand. And what does he demand? He asks for the forces of bestowal, and nothing more.

If I ask for good, this demand will be egoistic. At the same time, I am not able to ask for harm to my egoism. The very same ego lurks in any such request.

How can I beg to progress to the next state, which undoubtedly bodes harm for my egoism? Could I really ask the Creator to correct me, that He take away the most precious thing I have right now? If in my current desires I yearn for pleasures, how can I ask to stop receiving pleasure? It won’t be an aspiration of the heart but simply words that don’t count in spirituality.

A person has no possibility to raise a prayer for correction on his own. The only way is to appeal from within the point in the heart (without attaching anything from my own self since egoism reigns within me) by connecting to the group at the same time. Only together with the friends can I make my contribution to the common prayer for correction. And this prayer will help us.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/29/2012, “Introduction to TES” 

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There is nothing but the relationships among us, relationships of receiving and bestowal. The result of these relationships should be to bring contentment to the Creator. The upper Partzufim cooperate: Abba and Ima, and ZON perform endless different actions, the Reshimot (reminiscences) change, but the main thing is the intention of the person who operates this whole system.

Before he operates it everything in it is dead, still. Then a person comes and the first thing he does is to weed out the dry thorns from the vineyard, which means that he cuts and separates the “stony heart” that cannot be corrected. Then he begins to work with all the rest. Prior to that, the whole system is quiet and a person operates it according to his exertion: He “presses the gas pedal,” he wants the system to work in order to bestow.

There is a set table in front of me and I have to gradually take everything that is on it and enjoy the refreshments in order to bring contentment to the host. So I check my vessels and see that they are vessels of receiving. I mustn’t receive even one gram of pleasure in them. First I must restrict myself. If the host is important to me, I will not enjoy for my sake, but will only want to enjoy for his sake.

But how can I bestow upon him, where can I find the power to do so? I begin to look for different methods and advice, and eventually reach the request. In order to receive such power, the Creator has to be revealed to me as the One who bestows, and then He reveals His greatness and His importance to me. But when the power of bestowal reaches a person, it doesn’t rule him, but according to a person’s request, it only rules his desires to receive.

I am made totally of this desire to receive, so how real can my request for the power of bestowal to rule me be? I can scream forever, but it will just be empty tears because I don’t know what to ask for. It’s like a baby who cries loudly, but no one gives him what he wants. We are angry that we don’t receive the spiritual revelation, just like babies.

I have to know exactly what to ask for. If I know what to ask for, how to ask, and for what reason, then my request will be effective. How can I demand the attribute of bestowal? First I have to acquire its importance. This means that I am asking for the Creator and His revelation. I am not asking to enjoy Him, but only to attain the greatness of bestowal: “Let me respect you!” This is the final request. It isn’t so that I’ll feel good and receive pleasure. I only want to respect Him without taking myself into account. We can receive and demand this necessity from the environment.

This request should not be expressed in words, in a fiery speech, or a carefully composed telegram. It’s revealed in the heart, it breaks the walls of the heart and spills out. I ask not in order to enjoy the feeling that I bestow, that I am great and equal to the Creator. I want to acquire the attribute of bestowal itself and I check my intention to improve my attitude to the friends.

Then I will understand what Kabbalists write about and I will consciously be included in what is happening in Malchut of Atzilut. All these things take place in a clear and clarified manner inside me according to the process that Kabbalists describe and reveal it in small portions one after the other. We are very close to that.
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From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/28/12, The Study of the Ten Sefirot

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It doesn’t matter that you are sitting in rows behind the desks, and not embracing in a circle. Only the physical bodies are sitting on the chairs, but inside there must be the feeling of a circle: a great connection all over the world. Just like the women encircle us in a ring, so does the whole world stand further away, behind them. We should aspire to bring everyone to one point of contact.

The physical arrangement is meaningless. I don’t think that the pupils of Rabbi Shimon sat in such a symmetric circle. If it were so, the same rules would have been kept until today for the study of the Torah. A circle simply symbolizes the fact that everyone is equal—the friends connect and form a prayer of the many.

We only need to ask for the Light that Reforms. Without this, we have no chance whatsoever to exit our ego even by one millimeter—none of us. Only the Light that Reforms can help us.

Therefore, it is meaningless to ask about how you should do it. You are not doing anything, let the Light do the work! But you should be constantly aware that you need to perform all sorts of actions to draw the Light that will do everything.
[73816] 
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/27/2012, Shamati #52 

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Question: I don’t understand how a spiritual Partzuf can calculate to what extent it can receive in order to bestow if each time it discovers a new state in which it has never been before.

Answer: The spiritual Partzuf goes through new phases all the time. As it says: “They will be as new to you.” But it can perform different actions based on what was before. Thanks to what? Thanks to his asking the upper one to perform this action!

In our world, all the actions are also performed by the upper one, but you don’t think about it and you think that you are doing everything by yourself. But everything is done by the upper Light, and you are making a double mistake called double concealment.

In fact, you are not doing anything by yourself. Everything is done thanks to the mercy of the Creator, and we are not in charge of our actions, our decisions, and our calculations. You may feel doubtful and unsure as to how you will act in the spiritual world since you are used to feeling that you are in charge in this world and that everything depends on you. But here too, you never do anything or decide by yourself.

It only seems that you do; everything that you feel, decide, and carry out is fictional. Inside you there is a hand, like in a puppet, that constantly turns you, so relax.
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From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/13/12, The Study of the Ten Sefirot

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We have justified claims: We are repeating the same thing over and over again when trying to unite. “When will this be over? When will we get what we want?” The answer is simple: When we won’t want it.

Rabash, “Shlavei HaSulam (Steps of the Ladder)” 1989, Article 12, “A Blessing and a Curse”: A person should know that every beginning of the work is called “day,” and a person’s prayer that the Creator brings him closer to the work is called “day.”

Thanks to our prayers and requests, thanks to the mutual relations we build between the Creator and us, we clarify and refine our right request, until it enables us to feel the spiritual world. “A prayer” is the work of the heart: polishing, purification, preparation. If we ask, demand, and scream, our prayer turns into a connection with the Creator, which has gone through the group and become a “prayer of the many.” This is the only way to reach Him.

When we arrange everything correctly, we constantly polish, clarify, and prepare our vessels of perception in order to feel spirituality in them. On the way we demand: “Give me!”, but gradually we begin to fine-tune our desires and demands, directing them towards bestowal, towards unification with the friends, towards distinguishing the form of general bestowal, the Creator, in this unity, who is revealed according to the principle of “come and see.”

And so gradually the mind and the feelings in our vessels reach the right parameters and enable us to feel the spiritual world. It exists here and now, and we are in it, but we don’t feel it.

Therefore, a prayer is a process in which we prepare our vessels for the spiritual perception.
[72037] 
From the Arava Convention 2/25/12, Lesson 7 

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Question: The convention is starting! What atmosphere should surround it during the final preparations?

Answer: We only need the sensation of unity, there is nothing else. We see from the example of the spiritual fetus that there is plenty of matter for its development, and only the form, which we take from the Light, from the Creator, is lacking. The more we want to assume the form similar to the Creator within the desire, depending on it, we will be called humans.

The desire to assume the form of man is called a prayer. And it is realized through our connection, when everyone wishes to unite so that everyone completes the other till the form of man, Adam.

And then it transpires that there are no unwanted or failing. If we connect everything given to us from Above correctly, we will perform our task and assume the human form. We have all the conditions for it now, and I really hope that we will not miss our chance.

Let everyone annul themselves before the friends, and then even the very beginner will be among others as a baby who does not interfere with them, and he will enter together with everybody. Babies are not left alone; they must be taken together! By annuling yourself before the rest, you obligate them to take care of you.
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From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/21/2012, TES 

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