The four hundred years of exile were given to us so that we would cry out and reach a true prayer. When you finally cry out “Help!”,  you come out of exile.

So, the conflict between the “shell” and “holiness” is about one question: Who will rule? Is it the human part in a person or the Creator that is in a person?

This is the middle neutral point called the middle third of Tifferet, the shell of Noga. The Creator rules the upper part, as it is written, “There is none else besides Him,” and below, Pharaoh, or myself.

Here in the free neutral point we have to clarify many things, because each time, Pharaoh grows stronger and denies the Creator’s control. This is after you have decided that the Creator should rule and you are totally under the domination of the Upper that does everything. For a moment I imagined this whole picture in my mind.

This isn’t easy since I am constantly confused about who the Creator is, who rules, and where my place and the place of others is. It is very difficult, here, to keep things balanced, as if standing on one leg on a high pole in a circus constantly trying to maintain balance, trying not to fall.

I need the Creator’s help here that He will give me the force of bestowal, which will make me independent of my desire to receive. Otherwise I will constantly need to stabilize the picture of reality in me that is absolutely impossible, and will have to balance on one leg on a pole like a circus performer. Only the power of bestowal can provide me with such a safety net and balance.

Thus, our point of freedom, “the shell of Noga” is revealed on the lowest level, “the middle third of Tifferet,” that obliges us to answer the question as to who will rule and “Who is the Lord that I should listen to His voice?”
[76221]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/25/12, Writings of Rabash 

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Our goal is to reach a true prayer, which means to understand what we lack. It is true because it is accepted Above. This means that a deficiency on the part of the lower one and a deficiency on the part of the upper one have to be equal, the lower should ask for exactly what the upper one wants to give him.

This means that I have to feel that I only lack bestowal and the understanding that only the Creator can give me this filling: the force of bestowal and the ability to bestow, all the necessary conditions. The Creator has to reveal the desire to bestow and how to reach it inside me by showing me upon whom and what I can bestow.

This whole system of connection is called the Torah. And both the Light and our ability to bestow are included in it. But until then I have to work and first of all check what I want, what desires there are inside me, and to what extent they are all in order to receive.

Then I become included in the right environment and with its help, I gradually begin to change. I already begin to hear that the spiritual world isn’t meant for self-pleasure, but for the good of others. I realize this gradually and with great difficulty. I hear about it, but it takes a long time until I really understand this in my mind and feel it in my heart.

There is a great distance between simple awareness and actually doing something. We have to exert ourselves while in our natural ego in order to perform actions that are totally opposite to it, that are aimed at connection and bestowal. Even though it may be artificial and against my will, it is still called “above reason.”

But what can fuel my machine, what can be the reward? After all, I can’t work so that others will feel better, I don’t see any benefit in it and I can’t even move a finger for this cause, I can’t perform even the slightest action. My nature doesn’t work on bestowal energy. I don’t feel someone else’s desire as my own in a way that I can fill it and feel as if I fill myself.

In the meantime, I don’t feel anything, and it is as if others don’t exist for me. To fill the others is against my interests. So I operate mechanically, as if I bestow upon them and connect with them. Actually I do it for my own sake.

However, I understand that this is what “You labored and you found” means! I exert myself, and in the meantime the Light influences me and changes something in my soul. Gradually I begin to feel the greatness of the Creator and the importance of the environment, but it takes years to reach this internal attitude.

I advance by first realizing that bestowal is good for my own sake, and gradually I begin to perceive the importance of the attribute of bestowal itself. There are ups and downs on this path. One time I may value bestowal more and another time I may want to use it for my own sake, to enjoy the fact that I am on this path. Sometimes I don’t think about it at all, but only about receiving, and then I wonder about wasting my time and I have doubts about the whole way. So I advance by going through all these states.

The goal of the advancement is to bring me to a true prayer. I receive all the elements of this prayer from the environment. There is nothing in a person himself that can bring him to spiritual attainment. He needs a teacher that will constantly guide him, he needs a group in which he fulfills the whole process, and he needs books through which he receives the Light that Reforms.

These three elements are not part of our desire to receive and of the corporeal life. And they must be organized so that with their help we can attain the importance of the spiritual properties.

This is possible only by the Light. How can I otherwise wish for something that brings me no self benefit but only requires that I make efforts, and what is more to enjoy it. But the Light gradually cleans me and gives me this ability, and then I begin to value the spiritual connection with the Creator.

I attain a true deficiency, which is very powerful. Besides, its truth is proven to me since the Creator accepts it and responds to my request. Thus we meet Him for the first time “face-to-face,” the Creator’s deficiency connects with the deficiency of the created being.

This means that the Creator is revealed and then a person rises above his ego and begins to work in order to bestow. This whole process is divided into two parts: The first phase is the preparation for the true prayer. The moment we attain it, we begin to advance with it by gradually revealing a greater deficiency. But from the moment we attain this true deficiency our attainment of the Creator begins.
[76157]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/24/12, Writings of Rabash

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It’s said: “Those who love the Creator, hate evil.” `That is, we are given a reference point: If you are in the state of love for the Creator, then you hate evil, hate egoism, and this should be felt simultaneously; otherwise, you are straying from the direction. You will think that you love the Creator, but if you don’t feel the hate for egoism at the same time, then, you have no direction, it vanishes. In order to align it, to make it a straight line, on the one hand, you have to strengthen it in the hatred for evil, and then the second point will be precisely aimed at the love for the Creator. We don’t know what the Creator and the love for Him is. But if we start with the hatred for egoism, this is already a direction.

It’s said in this case: “Those who love the Creator, hate evil,” and they are whom the Creator saves from this evil. Therefore, our work is to reject and repel egoism and to attract good, bestowal, and love.
[76120]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/25/12, Lesson 5

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Try to constantly see two states: the real state that you see and the desired state. Most of the time we are in a rather latent state, and the way a person sets himself depends upon him. If you are given positive or negative awakenings from Above, you begin to act. But if you are not pushed from behind, you are half asleep, like in a dream. It’s here that the major work is concentrated, the search for how to spur yourself on. This is in order to see your state in the true Light and to imagine the desired state, so that the gap between them will show you how wrong you are and how much more there is to do. Then you begin to look for the means to change your state.

It all depends on the awakening from below, but you get the energy for that from the outside because there is nothing in us except for a machine that wakes up under the influence of an external force. Just like an engine that operates only if it continuously receives fuel or electricity. The moment the energy supply is cut off, it immediately stops. This operating energy can come from the actual source, from the Creator, and oblige our engine to run, or it can come when a person summons it by himself. This is the human part of the engine, when a person connects himself to the electricity network and operates himself.

You can operate yourself only by the group, by the equivalence of form. The more adaptable you are to the upper energy source, the electricity supplier, in bestowal and in a desire to do good to others and the Creator, the more easily you’re able to connect to the source of electricity, to the Light. And then the Light will influence you and operate your engine.

The energy of life always comes from the outside, from the Light. We constantly receive a tiny spark of vitality that revives us and enables us to exist. In addition to this spark, we receive an awakening from Above, according to time, to different periods, and to individual and global changes that one must go through.

Everything always depends on our awakening below which is the main part. All our advancement is by the awakening from below, all the 125 steps we have to go through, as we perceive a deficiency on our part. We have to operate our machine ourselves, by yearning for bestowal. By operating this way we advance step-by-step and each time our actions become more qualitative.
[76044]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/23/12, Writings of Rabash

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The most important thing in spiritual work is to direct yourself towards the goal using many parameters while taking into account the various surrounding conditions that guide you directly to the target. 

It is the same in our world. Let’s say I’m an artilleryman shooting at a distant target. I cannot see this target since it’s 15 miles away from me. I have to calculate how much TNT I need to use relative to the mass of the cartridge so that it would reach its target. In addition, I need to take into account the humidity of the air, wind, temperature, and thousands of other parameters. Previously, we used tables, but today all these numerous conditions are programmed into a computer. This isn’t simple.

In our world, we first fire a few test rounds, use them to determine the deviation, and only afterward do we take a shot at the target.

But there is no such thing in spirituality; we cannot “shoot” and calculate our error, checking whether we “hit” the Creator or not. We need to account for all conditions. The group is created for that purpose, and all the necessary components are there for making the calculations to reach the goal. This is why the wisdom of Kabbalah is a science about how to come to the possibility of revealing a new property within us: the property of the revelation of the Creator.

Moving forward isn’t sufficient for us because I cannot see anything in front of me. I am in such a state where I don’t know what “forward” means. I don’t see it! Perhaps I’m moving in a completely opposite direction? A big question mark hangs over all of this. What can be done?

This is why our egoism exists, so that by pushing off it we could determine “What exactly is that something that’s “not it,” not our egoism? And in this “not it” is precisely where the Creator would be. That is, egoism operates in everything except for just one direction, the one opposite to it.  

In order to find the one and only goal, the property of bestowal and love, which is called “Creator,” we start from its opposite. We don’t know it because all of our desires, including the love and bestowal in our world, are all egoistic and don’t have anything to do with spirituality, with the true and genuine property of bestowal and love. We can forget about that, we’re not in it at all; nobody is, in any manner whatsoever!

In order to lead us into the spiritual world and to orient us correctly, we were given egoism, the group, the study, and finally, the upper Light, which ultimately performs this spiritual surgical operation. It “operates” on us with its ray and liberates the soul, “releasing it outward.”
[76019]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/25/12, Lesson 5

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Question: How can we measure our advancement, in comparison to what?

Answer: I measure my advancement by checking to what extent I justify the friends, value them, and see them as the greatest in our generation, as special people, and to what extent I see the Creator’s image in them and want their attributes to become part of me.

I want to become the result of their influence because this is called the internal perception of the environment. What they imprint in me will be the form of the Creator, the human part in me.

I understand that this is how I should treat them, but at the same time I don’t see them that way. These are two feelings that don’t connect at all. On the one hand, I feel that the friends are great and special and that they are no different from the Creator. On the other hand, I understand that I treat them in a totally different way. This determines my attitude towards the Creator. If I disrespect the society, to the same extent I disrespect the Creator, it’s absolutely the same. If I want to change by the environment, it’s as if I place myself under the influence of the Creator.

If I can combine these two discernments, meaning hating and disrespecting the friends while at the same time respecting and valuing them, I attain these two polar opposite points. One becomes my Keter and the other becomes my Malchut and together they build my spiritual vessel.

By attaining such a vessel, I understand that this is my nature and I can determine that I am in “exile” because now I see the cause that requires my connection with the group and that I should place myself under its influence. On the other hand, I discover how far I am from connection, how I always forget it. I discover the difficulty in attaining it and how reluctant I am to do it.

Thus I see how harmful my ego is by not letting me be included in my environment in harmony, which means to be included and to melt in it as an integral part. This means that I transcend the Machsom (barrier) that separates me from the spiritual work.
[75729]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson, 4/19/12, Writings of Rabash

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Question: Why is the Creator concealed from me? What is He afraid of?

Answer: During the preparation period a person sometimes feels that the Creator is concealed from him, and sometimes he doesn’t feel anything. As a person advances he feels how much he needs the revelation of the Creator so that he will be able to bestow.

A person understands that without this revelation he will never be able to bestow. Only the revelation of the Creator in contrasts to my ego will provide me with the attribute of bestowal above receiving, “faith above reason.” Then I will be able to restrict myself, and will receive a Masach, (screen) and the Returning Light, and will be able to bestow, but it all depends on the level of the Creator’s revelation to me.

I am waiting for His revelation, not in order to receive pleasure from Him, but so that I will be able to work above my desire to receive. This is the state we should reach and we are almost there. We have to feel that the revelation of the Creator is essential, so that we will be able to attain bestowal and connect among us and bestow upon Him.

First different thoughts come up, searches and then feelings. It is the state of the “posterior,” which is a state of deficiency, of necessity. The “face” is already the filling, the revelation. But in spirituality the filling and the revelation symbolize the ability to bestow by which I am filled.

I am not filled in my vessels of receiving as I previously thought. New vessels are depicted in me and by them I feel a deficiency for connection, for bestowal, a yearning to see everyone and all of reality as one. By trying to actually implement this I suddenly understand that I can’t do that and that I want to do something else, but I don’t have the “hands” to do so.

I cannot perform an action of bestowal. It is like wanting to do something in this world but not having the tools to do it, and so I feel totally helpless and powerless, lacking the understanding and the resources to carry it out. I feel like a fish that has no fins that cannot do anything and cannot change anything.

I understand that I need a certain force, in order to discover all three discernments: right, left and the middle. Then I will discover how to work with the right and left lines in order to build the “head” between them, the mind. My fulfillment is when I will be able to fulfill this action of bestowal above myself. I have to imagine exactly how to put all the components together, in order to feel the importance of bestowal, who I bestow upon, what do I bestow, and by what do I bestow. This means that I clearly understand this action.
[75389]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/15/12, Writings of Rabash 

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Question: Why is the spiritual process so physically painful for women? When will we feel the result, after all, the convention does not end, it continues?

Answer: I believe that every person can feel the result to the extent of his desire, to the extent of their constant participation.

We constantly do inner examinations, analyses; it is like we pull and extract newer and newer definitions and sensations from within, which we use to build and form the new sense, called the soul.

It is made from a specific way I combine with others, maybe some more or less pleasant ways, through our different sensations, etc. This is an integral organ. The more active we are in connecting with each other for the purpose of revealing the integrality, the better we will reveal our mutual unity, and to this extent the Creator will manifest in this as a common force according to the law of similarity of qualities.

There is nothing else for us to do but act in this direction. Those who feel it, feel it; those who do not, do not. Today this opportunity is given practically to everyone: both men and women. Try to move more clearly towards it.
[75678]
From the Virtual Lesson 2/26/12

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A person cannot be corrected until he understands that he must rise to the next level. He must always picture this solution in his mind as if he is not in his current state, but already in the next state having attained the upper level to which he rose by the Reforming Light.

Usually we want to correct our current state. This stops us because we think that the current state has arrived so that we will correct it.

Thus we confuse ourselves because all the states come so that we will rise above them to the next states. There is nothing to correct in the present state. The correction is in rising from the current state upward.

It is very hard to accept this, because this approach does not exist in our world, but this is what happens in spirituality. This is because all the states are given not so that a person will correct them, but so that he will correct himself. It is possible to correct yourself only by rising above every state, which is called advancing by “faith above reason.”

Every time I feel a certain discernment or a wrong and unreal attribute, I see it as an invitation to rise above it. Thus I see that everything that happens to me comes only in order to show me my deficiencies. Their filling and correction takes place on the next level, and never in the current state.

Everything that I see with regard to myself, with regard to this world, with regard to the friends and the Creator, which seem as bad and imperfect, are the discernments of the places above which I should rise and adhere to greater bestowal. This is how I can advance until I reach complete bestowal.
[75600]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/18/12, Writings of Rabash

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Question: During seminars on connection, it is very important to speak from the heart without any slogans or clichés. If somebody feels unable to say anything, is it possible that support from the group moderator or someone else could help him to say a few words?

Answer: The thing is that the world we want to experience, the next level, is not verbal. There are no words or any information exchange besides nonverbal information on the level of frequencies that are called our thoughts and feelings. These are special frequencies.

There are people who can perceive them. Because when we don’t know a person, we instinctively tune into his frequency and sometimes capture his thoughts. There is nothing supernatural in that. Thus some people feel others at a distance. All of that is achieved through a connection to a higher common informational layer.

But we connect not just to an egoistic informational layer like psychics, but rather, to a higher informational layer that operates us and is called the upper force. It is called upper because, unlike our egoistic force, it is altruistic and is built upon bestowal, not upon reception.

It is important to understand that we influence each other without words on the level of this force. If our words do not correspond to our thoughts, then they have no effect. Results can be reached only when we want to be givers. Even though we are not yet altruists and don’t actually seek unity, but want to be so, then this desire works. Meaning, our thought and words shouldn’t contradict each other. There should be at least some desire and aspiration in them. Therefore, our internal thoughts, internal pressures, and aspirations, which are called prayer, are sufficient.

There are cases in our practical work when people sit a few hours in a row without saying a word. Rabash and I practiced the same approach during meals or other events when we sat for 30-40 minutes in absolute silence. I remember that millions of different thoughts swept through my head at that time. You wander somewhere in the deep corners of yourself, you are being thrown out, but then find the way into the right thoughts, and then get carried away again.

Thus a person gradually teaches himself the proper intention because only through a right intention, it is possible to penetrate, reach, and enter the next higher informational layer.
[75314]
From the Vilnius Convention 3/23/12, Lesson 2

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