Prayer is the desire to acquire the correct Hisaron (deficiency). There are many inner discernments here.

Our entire path—from the moment we receive the point in the heart until crossing the Machsom, when we work in double and then single concealment and while committing intentional transgressions and then errors—all these states are traversed in order to form a desire, a need, for vessels of bestowal within us.

In the article “Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot,” Baal HaSulam describes the state of “not for the sake of the Creator” (Lo Lishma) where I passionately desire to attain spirituality for my own sake and at the same time, I want to bestow upon the Creator.

Both these desires must exist within me simultaneously, and this state is called Lo Lishma. Consequently, by having the desire to bestow upon the Creator within me,  I feel that all my other desires are simply egoistic, for my own benefit. Existing within these two desires simultaneously allows me to see the difference between bestowal and reception.

Baal HaSulam writes that a person must realize that if they were to discover that they would receive only vessels of bestowal and absolutely nothing for oneself, such a state would not satisfy them, they are simply incapable of it. This is the true state of Lo Lishma, and from it, one comes to the state “for the sake of the Creator” (Lishma). In the book A Sages Fruit, it is stated that we must attune ourselves only toward striving to reach the state of Lishma day and night.

Our initial Hisaron, the point in the heart, signifies the state wherein “the Creator inseminates first, she gives birth to a female (Nekeva).” This primary Hisaron (Nekeva) implanted within us must be increased to its greatest possible measure in this world.

In other words, despite the earthly desires within me, which I seek to fulfill and realize, I want even more to have the desire to bestow upon the Creator. It is precisely this state that is represented by the sages’ saying: “A woman (Nekeva) who conceives first gives birth to a male (Zachar).” Zachar represents the first screen, the force of bestowal. This state may rightfully be called an infant born in spirituality.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/14/26, Rabash, “What Is, “If a Woman Inseminates First, She Delivers a Male Child,” in the Work?”

Related Material:
In the State of Infancy
The Transition to Lishma
Lo Lishma: To Have Something to Correct

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