Question: If nothing shines to me from afar, does it mean I cannot develop a need for the upper goal?

Answer: Our desire depends on several factors: an illumination from above, an awakening of the Reshimo (spiritual gene) from below, and so on. We can demand the conditions we need.

There are no problems here, because I ask the Creator for a Kli (vessel) and not for the filling itself. And even later, when “a woman will conceive and give birth to a boy,” there too I am asking for a Kli, for the desire to bestow. I do not ask: “Fill me.” I say: “Give me the possibility to bestow so that bestowal to You will serve as filling for me.”

What filling does a mother receive when she gives love and care to her child? She enjoys the very act, her bestowal to him. To the extent that the child enjoys, she enjoys. In giving to the child, the mother does not think about personal benefit; there is no self enjoyment here. We speak about this superficially, because inside maternal love there is an egoistic nature. But whatever it may be, this example is like an imprint from spirituality.

“For what do you suffer, why do you constantly think and worry about your child? We will give you a pill so that you forget him.” Will a mother agree to such a thing? Never! Because in the child lies her whole life, the source of fulfillment and joy. Therefore, when one asks for the desire to bestow, one asks precisely for it and not for something outside of it.

You cannot say: “Once I have the desire to bestow, with that, I will fill myself.” That would be bestowal for the sake of reception. Of course, the Creator will not reward such a request with an answer. But if a person has the desire to bestow even though it contains a mixture of the desire to receive, of self enjoyment, then this is already the state of Lo Lishma from which one comes to Lishma.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/14/26, Rabash, “What Is, “If a Woman Inseminates First, She Delivers a Male Child,” in the Work?”

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An Infant Born in Spirituality
The Nature of the Will to Receive
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