Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

A woman fulfills her role by being opposite (and not equal!) to a man.

Men’s and women’s roles have become so blurred that people are confused about what the ideal roles of men and women are supposed to be. This has affected the relationships between men and women, and has even caused people to become confused about their own identities.

As much as we desire to create simple, plain equality—according to our understanding of it, in the end it does not benefit men or women. It does not make our lives more balanced, harmonious, fair or happy—and that’s because the way we seek to create “equality” goes against the laws of nature.

Instead of learning how to arrange our lives from nature, we have been thinking that we are above nature and inventing our own rules. Yet our lives prove that we are, in fact, part of nature. Hence, we have to let nature teach us how to create perfect relationships between us and live in harmony with one another.

This is exactly what the wisdom of Kabbalah enables us to do—it reveals nature’s laws, enabling one to see the best way to act toward others, whether toward men, women, children, or the whole world. Without this knowledge, it is impossible for us to arrange our lives in a sensible way. Rather, with every passing day, we will only experience more problems and suffering.

But how did the confusion around our sex roles begin in the first place? After all, the relationship between men and women is only unbalanced among humans. In the animal world, for instance, the male always supplies the female with everything she needs. The problem with humans is that everything operates according to the ego, and not according to the duties one sex has toward the other. Precisely the ego has made our relationships and gender roles unbalanced.

So what is the balanced way for us to build our lives? It is written that a woman was created to be help against a man. That is to say, a woman fulfills her role and provides the help needed of her precisely by being opposite (not equal!) to a man. To be opposite to him means to help him attain the spiritual goal, and this is how they both attain it.

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