Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

True love exists only in the spiritual world.

What we normally call love is the egoistic satisfaction of one person by another, whether it’s sexual satisfaction or any other kind of fulfillment we receive from another person. And clearly, this isn’t love.

Then what is love? Love is when you don’t pay any attention to yourself, but you take the desires of another person and try to fulfill them in exactly the way they would like. In other words, you turn yourself into a vessel of fulfillment for the other person. This is real love, and it exists only in the spiritual world. And there is no difference if it is a man or a woman – what’s important are the desires, the soul.

In contrast, when we talk about love in this world, we are really talking about attraction and pleasure that are brought about by hormones. If we were to disconnect a person from his hormonal system, he wouldn’t be able to feel “love.” This again shows that what we usually think of as love is just an egoistic desire to enjoy. Sometimes this desire can even be cruel, desiring to receive fulfillment at the expense of another person.

Hence, the love we read about in fairytales is really an illusion, and does not exist in reality. It’s because all of our desires are based only on the desire to fulfill ourselves. Even when we give something to others, we do so only because it gives us pleasure. Our action of giving is meaningless because what really matters to us while performing that action is what we feel.  

* Recommended: If, however, you’re interested in fairy tales written in a Kabbalistic spirit, we have one book of these available from Kabbalah Books, called Miracles Can Happen.