Answer: It really is unclear how a regular piece of flesh in which some kind of organs are functioning and a common life exists, suddenly there is a desire not for food, sex, family, money, fame, and knowledge, but for attaining its source: “Where do I come from? Who controls me and is there such a thing? What is my mission?”
A desire associated with infinity is revealed in a person. I look at the stars: “Where is my source?” I am not sure where to look for the answer.
Perhaps I should go deep into the ancient ages, engage in archaeological dig and then I will solve this mystery. Or, on the contrary, I should aspire forward. Yet, how can I know the future? I do not know what to do.
A person who feels major emptiness wants to find his source because everything that exists in this world is absolutely clear to him. But what am I for? This “I” cannot be satisfied with human desires, even if you give him everything.
Of course, it is possible to suppress his thoughts using drugs, wealth, using anything, but they will cut through nevertheless. Whatever he has: sex, family, money, power or knowledge, all this will not fulfill him. They just fill a small inner volume in him, a small sphere. Outside of it, when he begins to feel that there is something above this, he loses the taste of life.
When I was a child, I thought that if I had a small tricycle, I would be happy. Finally, my dream came true. Suddenly, I see that in the neighboring yard my friend is riding a big two-wheeled bicycle! Such a storm of feelings arose in me that I was ready to break my tricycle!
It is the same here. It seems that I have everything, I need nothing! Then suddenly, a new emptiness is revealed in me. Life as if laughs at me: “I give you this and that—take everything you want. However, the meaning of life, eternity, and perfection are not for you.”
However, I do not want a small tricycle anymore because the most important question about the meaning of life remains open.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 9/3/17