When you approach a city to wage war against it, you shall propose peace to it. And it will be, if it responds to you with peace, and it opens up to you, then it will be, [that] all the people found therein shall become tributary to you, and they shall serve you. (Torah, Devarim, Shoftim 20:10-11)
If you have desires which you can cover with an intention to bestow, then there is no need to fight them.
In general, one should not fight with the desires, but only with the intentions. This war ends if you turn them from the intention, “for my own sake” to the intention, “for the sake of others”. Everything depends on the influence of the environment and development of the individual.
Question: When I offer peace to a desire, does it mean that it is ready to accept the intention to bestow?
Answer: Yes. From a psychological point of view, we always need to start with this and not break ourselves. If it is possible to gently move to a different level of our inner work in understanding, in bestowal, in concern for external factors, then our victory is in this.
Everything depends on how you study, how you disseminate, how connected you are with friends. This is how you advance.
Our progress, for the most part, is not actualized through war. It is not necessary to constantly be in a state of stress. Of course, it is not to say that there may not be some battling, but it has to be controlled and appropriate. On one hand, never relent, because your responsibility is only to engage in correction. On the other hand, all intentions and desires that arise in you, need to be reframed with help from the Light, the upper force.
That is, you need to begin passing such Light, such thoughts and actions through them that would enable you, very gently but inevitably, form a connection with the Creator above them and to understand that they come from only one source, and you should only connect to that source through them. Only then all of them will become yours and will obey you. This is the challenge of our lives.
Comment: This is always very difficult because basically, you are changing your nature and it is somewhat of a forced process.
Answer: Everything depends on the intention of a person. Let us say, right now you need to take a 40 lbs package somewhere. It is not easy to do it, it is hard. But if you need to bring it to your beloved little grandchild, who needs it very much, then it becomes much easier, quickly you find the strength. Because everything depends on desire, goal, and intention.
Comment: However, the intention is given from above. That means it is necessary to ask for it.
Answer: Of course, but you have to demonstrate persistence in this.
Comment: The example with the grandchild is clear to me, but with the Creator it is more complicated.
Answer: Why is it more complicated? If everything in the world occurs only in order to turn you to Him, then there is nothing complicated. Imagine for yourself that you receive everything from Him and only in order to turn toward Him.
He is very jealous and will do everything in order to get you to pay attention to Him. It is a terrible jealousy, almost impossible to describe! In every minor detail! In whatever it is! And only when there is enough attention from you (no more and no less), then everything is well.
That being said, we are not talking about performing mechanical actions, such as making a blessing before a meal. We are talking about a person who changes his attitude and reveals the Creator thanks to His nudges.
Direction toward Him must not only be in every action, but in every breath, in every glance, in everything, so that every cell, every fiber, yearns toward its source.
From a TV program “Secrets of the Eternal Book,” 09/19/2016