Answer: Reluctance is a reaction by default, that isn’t worth speaking about. Of course I prefer to do what I like now, like lying on the sofa watching a football game with a beer and nuts, with the remote control in my hand, and let everyone leave me alone. Before the game begins, in expectation of the desired pleasure, I will even tell my wife how much I love her again.
But sitting with friends is not a pleasure. In fact it isn’t a pleasure being here, and no one says otherwise.
Question: Does that mean that I should do what I don’t want to my whole life?
Answer: No. My whole life is tied to the greatest most sublime goal: I am going to reveal the Creator and this is the greatest reward. What is more, there is an even greater reward, which is being able to delight the Creator without any self benefit.
Never mind if this seems unrealistic today and something that I cannot imagine, I belong to and am incorporated in things that don’t exist anywhere else. Recognizing this importance gives me support.
Of course, the upper Light sustains us now. It operates on the point in the heart and doesn’t let us escape. On the contrary, if it illuminated the egoistic desire to receive instead of the point in the heart, I would immediately disappear inside the group without a trace.
Question: Will I ever agree with my desire?
Answer: No. After all this state is filth, it is a Klipa.
Question: Does this mean that I will never do what I want?
Answer: You will do what you don’t want in your desire to receive but what you want in the desire to bestow. I establish everything above the desire to receive, above “what I feel like.” The goal is so important for me that I feel pleasure in bestowal. Now this idea is above everything for me, and I cannot identify with my corporal part any more, I don’t disrespect it, I take what I need from it, what is essential, but my heart is in the group, in bestowal.
So stay after the lesson not because you have been told to do so but because of the greatness of the moment. After all, this meeting with the friends brings you closer to a very high level. The sublime goal gives you powers not to forget the mutual guarantee and evokes the friends to care for each other.
On the whole I am not to blame if I don’t keep this direction the whole day, the group is to blame; blame one another and then each one will feel his blame from everyone. Generally, even if it seems like a paradox, it’s easier to think about others in the current state than about yourself. I am committed to care about the friends “like a man,” and that’s it, period. My conscience doesn’t let me escape from the responsibility and I will fight for my friends like in a commando unit.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/16/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam