Question: If love towards friends means to prefer his desire more than mine, what desires are we talking about?
Answer: As Baal HaSulam writes in his article, “The Last Generation,” one needs to be concerned that each person in the world will have his necessities for normal material existence met. And if the friend himself will relate to it like that, he will not need any extras.
And all the rest needs to be directed toward the support of the friend on the spiritual path. So what does it mean that I love the friend? How can I fulfill his desires? If I worried about food for him and anything he needs for his existence, in the other things, I support him spiritually: showing him my awakening and transferring to him the feeling of the greatness of the Creator and the importance on the spiritual path that awakens me and fulfills me in force. I act towards him as toward my child, which I want to attract to a beneficial action, and therefore I show him my interest, the desire, my appreciation. Exactly in the same way, I must show an example to the friend. It means, that I supply him with spiritual nourishment besides the corporeal nourishment, it means, that I love him.
Precisely this attitude, we must develop in our group. To give a friend the feeling of the greatness of the goal and my personal example of the loyalty to it, this is called to love the friend. And by that I prefer his desire above my desire. I take into consideration what he needs, the necessary corporeal means, and all the rest is toward his spiritual development. All this I must supply to him.
I must worry that he will arrange his life in a normal form, to help him find a job, etc. And from a spiritual aspect, I must encourage him with the greatness of the goal. And by that, I prefer his desire above my desire, I am worried for his development, and not mine. If I worry for a friend, this is the best thing for my development. But all of that I do in order to reach the love of God.
One must connect to a whole one: Israel, Oraita, and Kedosh Berach Hu (Israel, the Torah, and the Creator). Otherwise, it turns out that I simply love the friend in a natural egoistical love like for my child.
Precisely this form of work is called “the work of God.” If I relate to a friend in this way, through him I direct myself to the Creator. Love of others is necessary only in order to reach love of God. Through this man reveals the concealment that was made by the Creator, so we will practice in the love of others and reach the love of God.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/13/12, “Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot”