Answer: The right fear has to appear in a person every moment, and he should know how to correct it, which means how to ask for a greater fear.
Suppose I see that I am not so connected and adhered to the friends and I want it to really scare me. I want to feel terrible anxiety and fear of that, since if I am not adhered and connected to them strongly enough, I will not attain anything!
I know that I have to be incorporated in them and to lose myself, but I cannot do that. So where is my fear and anxiety of that? Where is the concern for that—to constantly think that I lack it, that it hurts and threatens my very existence? This permanent inner concern must constantly occupy me. I have to fear that I have no fear.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/4/12, “Introduction to the Study of the The Sefirot”