What Do I Value In A Friend?

Dr. Michael LaitmanWhat is love of friends? I don’t love any of them. Naturally, I want to dominate all of them so that they will serve me and do what I want. What do I need them for? It would be better if they didn’t exist.

This is the “normal” attitude to others. Love of friends means that it doesn’t matter what their attributes, mental, and physical problems or their successes are; what’s important is only their points in the heart. It is these points that I love, and I don’t have to love all the rest.

On the whole even a person’s gender doesn’t matter; we must abandon and draw away from external appearances as much as possible. Then all the other factors suddenly begin to complement one another.

Because we don’t complement one another in the points in the heart, we connect them and there we agree. The moment we connect the points in the heart, suddenly all our typical attributes, which are totally different, begin to connect like gears. This is how two discs in the car’s clutch system cling to one another and the whole mechanism begins to spin in synchronization. If we connect the points in the heart and ascend above all the other attributes, ignoring them, we can connect. How does this happen? I love and respect the friend’s yearning for unity and his yearning for the Creator. I think that he is better than me in that and that he is higher than me and yearns for that more than I do. Thus I see my friends as the “greatest in our generation.” If I raise the friend’s value according to the main thing, ignoring his corporeal attributes, I get closer to him and “place” myself below him. This is how we connect.

“Love of friends” is the connection into one whole, in their points of connection. “Each one shall help his friend” in that. I can provide different services for my friends in the group and help them solve corporeal problems, but only if we are truly parts of one group trying to connect our points. The wisdom of Kabbalah is very strict about simple mutual help. Why? Since it demands a person’s intention! Here I have to clarify things deeply and accurately to myself; what am I doing this for? It isn’t because I feel sorry or uneasy about something, etc. I bring myself to another state—that I do something because by that we reach unity and only for that reason.
From the Georgia Convention 11/06/12, Lesson 2

Related Material:
The Love Of Friends: A Pass To Infinity
Hanging On By Our Teeth Or Connecting As Cogwheels
The Eternal Engine That Runs On Love

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