The upper can help the lower under the condition that the lower is trying to unite with the upper. But it is impossible to unite alone with the upper because adhesion means that you wish to bring the corrupted vessel of bestowal to Him for Him to correct it, because we are corrupted.
But when do I feel this way?—When I wish to unite with someone and am incapable of it. Then I take this broken vessel and say to the upper: “Correct it!” He corrects it, and then I acquire a whole vessel with a certain degree of bestowal. I perform an action in it—actual connection in a corrected vessel—and then I attain a spiritual degree.
In other words, I had a small broken glass. I asked the upper one to fix it and He corrected it; in other words, He has given me strength to glue this glass together to make it whole. Now I can fill this glass by performing an act of bestowal, and I will fill it. This means that I have reached the level of Nefesh de-Nefesh of the World of Assiya.
And once again I turn to my friends, the group, and once again I analyze my lack of desire to continue to advance, I analyze how broken my vessel is. And once again I ask the upper one to correct it. But I must give Him something to correct. Otherwise, what will I bring to Him, what is my request? I must come and cry about the broken vessel, like a small child comes and cries over a broken cup. And then the upper one will correct it, and once again I fill the corrected vessel with the bestowal I desired and I attain the next spiritual degree, Ruach de-Nefesh of the World of Assiya. In this way I ascend the 125 degrees.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/7/12, The Zohar