To Give Does Not Mean to Impose

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: I must strengthen my desire to disseminate the wisdom of Kabbalah. The greater my desire, the more I will be able to give to the world. How do we grow a big enough desire that it just spills outside?

Answer: In order to do this, you need to develop an ability to empathize with people and feel their pain. Let us say that you have “fallen” for a certain idea of Baal HaSulam, decided to reveal the Creator, and unite with Him. Now, you want to impose it on everyone else. Will this be bestowal toward the world?

Bestowing to other people means to fulfill their desires instead of your own. You do not force them to accept whatever is important to you. On the contrary, their desires become most important to you. This is bestowal. Otherwise, you want to forcefully impose something on them.

For example, they want to watch soccer, but you close down all the stadiums. “I’ll show them soccer. I’ll asphalt all the fields. I’ll pass a law forbidding soccer as a game.” You think that this way, their time will free up for inner correction. You wish. They do not want any correction; they want soccer.

Do you think this is love? Do you really think that something can be given to people by force? You simply break their lives. Is this really right?

To love someone means to take their desire and fulfill it. This is why we need an educational system, so we can act gradually, gently, and without pressure.

We must explain to people that all their misfortunes are caused by a lack of balance with nature and hatred of others. This is exactly what makes us opposite to nature, and this is why we suffer on different levels.

Explain things whenever an opportunity arises and gradually establish communication with those who get your message to one degree or the other. We need to go to people with things that promise well-being.

For example, it is vacation season now. Give out brochures at the airport to people going on vacations with colorful illustrations and humor which at the same time express the idea you wish to convey. Make this brochure pleasurable for a person to open during the flight or when lounging. Its form corresponds to his mood, while its content is appealing, promising a good time once he gets back home.

Can we issue this kind of a brochure? So far, we have not done this.
From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/12/2011, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”

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One Comment

  1. Oh Boy, this is so true! Before I even knew Kabbalah existed, I use to get so frustrated with people being selfish around me and their problems stemming from it. I was pretty selfish about it myself too, because I would get to a point where I would actually just yell at them if it had been about five years and nothing had changed in them. Especially if I had explained to them that they were being selfish. They’d come to me with their problems and I’d explain what was going on underneath it all. NOTHING would get through to them. And the concept of changing their inner selves was a fantasy idea. Anyway, my point is. Even if I was right, it didn’t help to yell at them or try to force them to change out of my own frustration which was just selfishness on my part anyway. They would change for a short time, not get it, and then go back to the same way of doing things and their same problems year after year. The BEST way, I have found with my experience, is as you say. To fullfill their desires and have empathy. Everytime I did that, things were not as frustrating and there wasn’t any bad feelings involved. Also, people tend to respond better when they know you care about them. And, in turn, even if I never say the words Kabbalah, they sort of get it and turn around and usually try to be nice to someone else. Even if they don’t know what they are doing. I even fixed things with another person this way, I had yelled at for being selfish. I told this person they may have done this or that, but I didn’t want to make them feel bad about it by yelling at them. And I only wanted to focus on what they wanted. As a result, things are peaceful between us and there isn’t any conflict. So, I can vouch from my own experience this working.

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