Question: If the Creator gives me an opportunity to reveal Him every moment, why don’t I succeed in spite of how much I try to achieve this connection?
Answer: It doesn’t matter whether you reach this revelation or not, but every moment the private upper governance works upon you. You have to look within yourself: What does He want from me, why did He give me this state, what do I have to do?
As the result of such searching, perhaps I will be able to reveal what He demands from me and perhaps I won’t. Maybe, He purposely confuses me so that I need Him to reveal what He wants. But I have to have some sort of “end of the rope” that I can grab onto.
It is said: “Do anything, but just don’t leave!” That is, do everything not to lose the hook by which you can hold on to the Creator. Every moment I search for how to find Him concealed somewhere within me. That is why it is called the internal wisdom, “the inner part of the Torah.” You have nothing to look for on the outside, but only inside yourself.
The Creator is within a person, within our desires. Usually, we imagine that we ascend a ladder in space, but this merely shows that we move to higher, greater spiritual states, bestowal. In essence, our entire search is internal.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/31/2011, Writings of Rabash