Since all changes are made solely by the Light, every time we act, our actions must show us how inadequate we are compared to it. In other words, I must act as He does to be able to see how different I am from Him at my present degree.
It is similar to a little child who is trying to copy adult behavior. After having done so, he realizes how correct or incorrect his actions really are. It’s as if he is doing exercises by assembling tiny little toy structures from construction blocks or by doing his homework for school.
All of this is done so as to test ourselves and compare our results with the correct ones. Our advancement is based on the differences revealed between the “desired and actual,” between what I am capable of and what I am supposed to be by now.
This means that we constantly must try to perform acts of bestowal and use them to examine and assess what I haven’t achieved yet. I should not despair every time I fail, but love this state of illumination. After all, that’s what is teaching us how to move forward.
It doesn’t really signify that I did something wrong and now should feel guilty. To the contrary, I succeeded, and hence I am being shown what else I can advance in. The Light keeps showing me changes to take the next step. If I were unable to do it, the Light wouldn’t reveal it to me, and I would step into some kind of fog, an unconscious state. I would be numb, and I would feel good. The Light wouldn’t illuminate my flaws to me and wouldn’t show me what to do.
I won’t have anyone to talk to if I haven’t prepared myself by working in the group, serious studying, and doing other things. Therefore, the Light couldn’t allow me to take further action which had no foundation underlying it. In that case, it would look like I were alright and nothing needed to be done. I would enter a sort of illusion that might last a very long time, even years.
In fact, everything depends on preparation, while preparation depends on the environment. Thus, we are supposed to perform a few material acts, such as arrange the studies, the group, connection with the friends, and all discernments which we strive to do together.
If I am eager to unite with the others and reveal the property of bestowal there, I will have to eventually form my attitude toward the inner concept of the “group” or the “place” of the spiritual space, the integral desire where the property of mutual bestowal among all is revealed.
It is the Light that reveals bestowal to us, and when this revelation reaches a certain, full measure at the minimal level, it will fulfill us. We will experience bestowal itself and its very origin, meaning the presence of the upper force which sustains this property. We will reveal not only the Light, but its very source.
Rabash concludes his letter: “May the Creator help us accept the upper governance above time and space and cleave to Him always.”
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/15/2011, Writings of Rabash