A question I received: How can we demand correction at present when we are entirely in egoistic desires?
My Answer: Of course, we can’t demand correction at present. If I’m an absolute egoist, how can I ask for correction? However, what’s demanded from me is to ask for a bit of bestowal to the extent that I’m able to ask while still in egoism. This means that while you’re in Lo Lishma, (that is, in a lie, in the ego, in your desire for pleasure, and in thoughts about yourself), you are making a weak cry that you want to be giving.
Of course, it’s a lie, and you don’t want to love others, to give to them, and become similar to the Creator. You simply don’t know what bestowal is, and because of this, you are able to say these words. If you knew what it was, you’d run away immediately. The truth is concealed from you so that you don’t know what you are asking for. Bestowal is so opposite to your nature that it’s really death for your present desires and qualities.
In the science of Kabbalah, we study the relationship between Lights and desires. There is a vessel or desire with the Light opposite to it. Beside this, there is another state in which desire is not true but false, and the Light which is opposite to it is not Direct but Surrounding. This is exactly the state that we’re in now. However, for now, we ask that this Light come and bring us this desire to give as if we want to become giving, and it works because of this.
The system is designed such that, from our current state in which we do not want the next state, but nonetheless are asking for it, we can come to this next state, we can start wanting it, receive it, and be in it. This is caused by Reshimot, the spiritual genes, which remain in us from the corrected state that later shattered. These Reshimot awaken Lights in the World of Atzilut that are far from us. We can attract them to influence us, and then they are called Surrounding Lights.
Certainly, we’re in a lie and don’t want bestowal or to love our neighbor. It is true. The Torah does not hide this fact from us. On the contrary, it tells us that the Creator is concealed and the spiritual world is concealed because if you saw it, you would never want it.
Thus, spirituality is concealed so that you can imagine that it’s good for you even in your egoistic desires. When you imagine some egoistic reward for yourself, as if you want the spiritual world, the Light still influences you and changes your desires and thoughts from receiving to giving. This is how it works. The system was designed exactly for this process.
It works in this way not only in our state when we ascend from this receiving level to the first degree of giving; after crossing the Machsom (the barrier to spirituality), we ascend from state to state according to the same principle: by desiring the undesirable. Although, at those stages “a person’s soul teaches him,” and we have some support because we are already in the spiritual world.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/2/10, The Zohar