In order to understand and feel where we are, we have to grow spiritually. In the material world, a drop of semen starts to grow in the mother’s womb and then, after coming out into this world, continues to live in a larger space, ultimately becoming a human being. Similar processes take place in our internal spiritual development.
At a certain stage of our earthly lives we begin to sense a drop of spiritual semen that is called “the point in heart,” a desire toward spiritual development. This means that the point has unwrapped itself. We didn’t exist in this world before our parents gave birth to us. Similarly, we are brought to spiritual birth by our father and mother (also called “Abba ve Ima” in Kabbalah).
Spiritual growth happens under the influence of a force called the Upper Light. It leads us through concealments and revelations of the Light. It “shakes” us by revealing itself and showing us reality and then hiding it from us again. It plays with us and increases and decreases our aspiration toward it. The Light influences us by altering the states we go through: good and bad, and in clarity and confusion. If our reaction is right, we develop: one more moment, one more day, and one more week.
Our development can last for thousands of years or we can complete it in a year or two. Everything depends upon the individual. All we need to know is how to react to the force that triggers our development, and to start connecting everything to one source: “There is None Else Besides Him.” He hides behind our visible wrapping of reality.
I start to discern Him and dig deeper into this reality. I do this in order to feel this power and understand how it works through all the “coverings” of this world including: close friends, strangers, nature, and even myself when it changes me internally.
With the internal changes, I begin to sense myself as a black box that understands and feels to a small degree the influences it undergoes. I begin to understand that my only task is to react to what’s happening to me. Impulses come from a visible reality, from those who are close to me, from strangers, friends and enemies; all of them are shadows that block the Upper Force from me.
If I manage to connect with the Creator through this concealment, it is called “a shade of holiness” since I build my relationship with the Creator through the resistance of concealment. At this point I begin to understand the show He is playing for me, and through it, I attain Him.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/4/10, Shamati #8