The Zohar, Chapter “VaYaera (And The Lord Appeared),” Item 37: He taught him every profound and sublime secret in the Song of Songs and adjured him to not use any verse in it, so the Creator will not destroy the world because of him, since He has no desire for people to use it because of the great sanctity in it. Afterwards, Rabbi Akiva went out sobbing and his eyes were shedding water. He said, “Woe my teacher, woe my teacher, the world will be orphaned without you.” The rest of the sages entered and asked him, and he replied with words of Torah.
We can continue reading The Zohar for hours on end, but the question is: Do we have the right intention? The text itself might seem very difficult and closed to us, or it might seem simple. Regardless, we are always talking about inner qualities where Moses, Rabbi Akiva, Abraham, Esau, and good and evil forces are all inside a person. This is the manner in which The Zohar describes the phases of our spiritual path.
I don’t understand what is written here, and I don’t even want to know it. I want to feel it, to attain this state so as to experience it for myself, to live it. I don’t want to understand it through my mind, but through my inner qualities. I want my inner qualities to change so I will identify with the states that The Zohar describes.
It is talking about things that are inside of me, but are concealed from me. I am being told about what is taking place within me, and I want to feel it. All of these qualities and states, all of these “scenes,” all 125 degrees exist in every person right now because there is no time in spirituality. I want to reveal the degree about which I am reading in The Zohar, and I am entitled to this because that degree is mine. I want to change so as to experience this state.
This is called “to attain what one studies,” as Baal HaSulam says in Item 155 of “Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot.” He writes, “…through the yearning and the great desire to know what they are learning, they awaken upon themselves the Lights that surround their souls.” Here “to know” means to unite, as it is written, “And Adam knew Eve.”
I want to unite with this state, to live it. I don’t need anything else but this. Everything else inside me is bad, and I don’t care if I don’t understand or feel anything. I only want to “open” this text through my sensations, rather than through my mind. I want to experience it.