A question I received: What is death and how can a person stop being afraid of it?

My Answer: When a person identifies himself with the animate level (the body), then he is afraid of its death, since he also sees this as the end of his “I’s” existence. But if he’s already begun identifying himself with the soul, that is to say, he generally begins perceiving himself in his inner life, he feels his “I” beyond the animate level (the body), he perceives himself through the point in the heart, unites with the points of others and starts living in others, then he attains the state of confidence (of course, under the influence of Ohr Makif), and knows that even if the physical body will die, he has already acquired a new, spiritual body! And at the moment of death he perceives his physical body as if he is being undressed and is parting with it. In general, it’s a psychological problem. It’s because one feels oneself as living in the body – in one’s desires. The main solution lies in interacting in the group. It’s because when you start perceiving the desires of others (your “neighbors”) instead of your own desires, then you acquire an eternal body or desire outside of you.

Related Material:
Shamati Article: Confidence Is the Clothing for the Light
Shamati Article: About Fear that Sometimes Comes Upon a Person
eBook: Shamati (I Heard)
Purchase the Book: Shamati (I Heard)

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A question I received: Dear Rav Laitman, could you please explain how does Kabbalah treat marriage and differences in perception between husband and wife? Kabbalah has already explained a great deal to me. Does Kabbalah treat a relationship between husband and wife as a sacred one or is it up to one`s desire to decide whether to follow the path? Thank you for helping us to understand what was considered “a secret.”

My Answer: “Sacred” is the quality of bestowal, which we acquire under the influence of the Light of Correction (Ohr Makif), when we correctly study Kabbalah (the books of Baal HaSulam). There is no other sacredness! It’s written: “There is no coercion in spirituality.” In corporeality, coercion originates from egoism. But it cannot exist in the spiritual world and in spiritual actions.

Every person has his own path and his own time to come to the Creator, and therefore you don’t have the right to force anyone to do this, including your husband and children. You can only tell them about it without pressuring them, “by the way,” gently, without threatening them, and evoking love for this topic in them. And no matter what the result, you should continue with your family life just like before.

Uniting with everyone who aspires toward the Creator will give you the strength and the desire to attain Him. You should view your relatives as bodies that are related to you, and as souls that are foreign to you.

Related Material:
Part 6, Ch. 4 from the eBook Interview with the Future: What Should One Go Through in Order to Attain Spirituality?
Shamati Article #145: What Is Will Give Wisdom Specifically to the Wise
Chapter 4.4 from the Book The Path of Kabbalah: Questions and Answers
eBook: The Path of Kabbalah – Revealing the Hidden Wisdom
Purchase the Book: The Path of Kabbalah – Revealing the Hidden Wisdom

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Two questions I received on the correction of a woman’s soul

Question: You have provided many explanations about a man’s path of correction – he studies, works in the group, and through this attracts upon himself the Light that returns to the source and corrects his soul. I’m trying to understand how a woman corrects her soul, and the only answer I can find is that she doesn’t attract upon herself the Light that returns to the source, that this is the man’s work, and that a woman needs to study and disseminate, and this way she corrects her soul. Can you give a more detailed explanation of the spiritual process that a woman’s soul goes through when she studies and disseminates on her path to correction?

My Answer: The difference is:
1. A woman does not unite with other women in a group, in “love for her neighbor or for her girlfriends,” but rather she unites with other women only through helping each other disseminate Kabbalah.
2. She doesn’t receive help directly from above, the way the men’s group does, but receives it through the men’s group. This is explained in the story about the reception of the Torah, where the men carry out the condition of Mutual Guarantee (Arvut), and the women support them with their desire. As a result they receive it together – the men conduct the Light to the women. The difference is only the order in which they receive the Light from above, and it practically doesn’t matter. That is to say, a woman doesn’t feel it in any way if she studies and disseminates. Moreover, a woman should study Kabbalah only to the extent that she feels a need to do so, and no more than that, whereas the men are obligated to study between one and three hours a day.

Question: Today women are reaching the same spiritual states that you, the men, are going through. But you have a safety net – a group of Bnei Baruch wives. What about us – women and mothers, and what about our children?

My Answer: The men of the world Kli have the support of the women’s part of the world Kli. This is what I feel, whereas you are looking at bodies instead of spiritual desires. A spiritual desire is not connected to the body, it’s beyond it. Imagine the world without our bodies – a space filled with uncorrected desires that aspire to be filled, rather than to bestow to one another and connect into one common desire. These desires subdivide into active ones – masculine, and passive ones – feminine. It’s similar to conception, where the male cells move and penetrate the female cells. And then a new body is born – a common desire.

Related Material:
A Talk about Women’s Spiritual Development, #1
A Talk about Women’s Spiritual Development, #2

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Three questions I received on study, work and dissemination

Question: Does it matter how much time I spend studying – two hours or half an hour? Will I attract more Ohr Makif (Surrounding Light) if I study for two hours?

My Answer: It’s sufficient to study between one to three hours a day. The most important thing is your intention while studying. Read the “Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot,” Items 10-20, which discusses this. You should divide your time so that half of it is used for studying and half for disseminating Kabbalah in the world. And it’s best to do both of these in a group – either physical or virtual.

Question: After Kabbalah lessons, we are faced with life, work or school. What should I do when I am at school?

My Answer: Push aside all thoughts about Kabbalah and only do what you are supposed to. Later you will be able to combine the two correctly.

Question: Can I disseminate even if I still don’t understand what Kabbalah is talking about?

My Answer: The understanding will come to you gradually, precisely to the extent that you participate in dissemination. Look at the example of Joshua – he helped Moshe disseminate the knowledge, helped arrange things, but he didn’t study himself. By helping, he mastered the knowledge and became Moshe’s successor – the spiritual leader of the nation. Kabbalah isn’t passed down through diligence and intellectual understanding, but through one’s desire to be in this knowledge: desire = Kli! This is why it’s written about Kabbalah, “It’s not the smart one who understands (but the one who aspires).”

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Three questions I received on fitting ourselves into the the spiritual puzzle

Question: I am a bisexual man, and I always play the men’s role in my relationships with men. But in general, since I became interested in Kabbalah, I’ve lost almost all interest in both men and women. Can I study in a group?

My Answer: Please write to us describing how you view men in general when you are next to them for an extended period of time, when you study together, work together, travel together, drink together and hug each other, sing and dance together with men. What do you feel when men look at you and hug you? Once you respond, we will examine your situation further.

Question: I’ve never felt as bad as I do now. I want to change for the better, but the state I’ve been in for three days already is unbearable and horrible, ranging from the question “What’s all this for? Why do I live?” to “I don’t want to go on living.” I have Kabbalistic books, music, and lessons, and without them I wouldn’t be able to continue. But I don’t want my life to be based on the feeling that I’m being lowered into an abyss of my own dirt, and I’m trying to break out of it!

My Answer: There is nothing besides a person and the Creator – so turn to Him. Your appeal to the Creator will be more effective if you make actions of studying in a group and disseminating.

Question: Every soul is a piece of the general puzzle. Men collect their pieces together to form a Kli. When one person loses the connection and falls out of the general system, then there’s a “hole in the boat,” there’s no Light. This seems clear enough. But how does the female soul fit into this puzzle? I feel like I just don’t belong.

My Answer: This female feeling of being defective (not according to Freud, but according to Kabbalah) will accompany you (as well as all the men who are correcting their Malchut) throughout the entire path until the end of correction. You receive the Light from above through the global men’s group, the same way every man does. And just like the men, you insert your piece of the puzzle, your soul, into the common soul of Adam! You are the same as the men in every way, except for the fact that they attract the Light. The men (the male parts of the common soul) unwillingly accept your desires, and they go out to hunt and to work, in order to attract the Upper Light for everyone.

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A question I received: You say that Kabbalah is a science. That’s fair. The two forces of nature, bestowal and receiving. All of nature is nothing but bestowal, and man is the only element in nature that disrupts the balance, he creates disbalance, and this is why we suffer.

Everything is fine until we get to this point. But finally, when we get to the point where we need to fix the balance, you say: Ohr Makif. Hmm… Some light comes out of nowhere and corrects me. And what confuses me the most is that this light comes from a book. Could you please explain or define what “light” is in a practical and clear manner? I thought that Kabbalah was a science about forces, nature, desires, etc. In my perception Upper Light is not a scientific term and directly refers to something esoteric. Maybe you could make this notion more reasonable and comprehensible? What is this force that corrects us? Is this the force of bestowal? Then why is it called Ohr Makif? How can this “light” able to help prevent suffering on our path of development? Is it in any way related to the corporeal light?

My Answer: If I were you with your love for sciences, I would study “Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah” (Pticha) or maybe I would even start studying Talmud Eser Sefirot! These texts explain several spiritual notions in a scientific language: 1. desire, 2. correction of intention from “for one’s own sake” to “for the sake of the Creator,” 3. fulfillment by the Light, pleasure, the Creator, to the extent of the corrected intention. There is nothing else in Kabbalah.

Ohr Makif is a force that influences us from a more corrected state, which we aspire toward. It responds to your aspiration in the following way: it pulls you to a higher, more altruistic state to the same extent you aspire for it. This is an interaction of two vectors of desires. The same mutual influence of forces also exists in our world, when a person aspires for any new thing. The difference is that when it comes to spiritual aspiration, this force that pulls you to a new state is referred to as Light, because it doesn’t just pull you through its influence upon you, but it also changes you, making you become like the new state, one that is spiritual and altruistic. The difference between this force of Light, and the force that pulls you toward a new state in our world is that, the force in our world doesn’t need to change you to pull you to something. Check it out for yourself to eliminate any doubts.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: The Physics of the Upper Light
Laitman.com Post: Will God Want to Repeat the Act of Creation?
Laitman.com Post: The Irrationality of Kabbalah

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Two questions I received on whether it is the Creator who is in control, or the person

Question: What comes first? My desire to advance along the path towards the goal, the understanding that everything happens for the sake of correction, without feeling the Creator and His intention to correct creation, or does one first gain the understanding that the Creator does everything in order to do benefit us through different means, and we want to fulfill His desire?

My Answer: This contradiction, “Who comes first?” or “Who governs?” will always remain with you, until the very end of correction. Who determines your thoughts, feelings, and actions – you or the Creator? This contradiction will disappear only once you merge with Him into one whole!

Question: I’m willing to accept the idea that I have to correct myself, but it’s difficult for me to accept the idea that everything is done by the Creator. When I experience a descent, then the Creator is doing this for my correction. When I experience an ascent, then the Creator gave it to me. However, I don’t feel that everything is predetermined. What should I do?

My Answer: Try to feel that everything that happens in your thoughts and feelings, and everything that happens around you – everything comes from the Creator! When you study Kabbalistic materials (Baal HaSulam) and make efforts, then during the study you attract the Light of Correction (Ohr Makif – Read item 155 in the “Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot“), and gradually, as if out of a fog, this Light will reveal the Creator to you!

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A question I received: Can you explain the following to me, because I am somewhat confused:
From, Baal HaSulam, Talmud Eser Sefirot, Part 2, “Table of Questions and Answers for the Meaning of the Words“:
“34) What is Yashar (Direct)? (p.2, ch.1, Ohr Pnimi, p.5)
When the Ohr Elyon (Upper Light) descends to the Kelim that contain Aviut Dalet (the fourth level of thickness), namely a desire, for she extends it through her desire, it is considered that the Ohr (Light) comes Yashar (straight, direct) down. This means that the Light that descends in Yosher is absolutely proportional with the Aviut and the desire.

For example, when a heavy object falls to the ground, it falls in a completely Yashar (straight, direct) line. Moreover, it falls at great speed because of the earth’s gravitating force that pulls it down. However, when something light falls, and the gravitating force does not affect it, it floats about in midair until it slowly rests on the ground.

Here too, in the Kelim that do not have Aviut, such as Kelim de Igulim (the circular Kelim), it is considered that the Light permeates them by the power of the Sefirot of Yosher. It becomes round because there isn’t any Aviut there, meaning a desire that would draw it.

However, in the Kelim de Yosher (the straight/direct Kelim), where there is Aviut that draws the Light with great power, the Light comes down very fast and with accurate straightness, like a straight line.”

What is this example about a heavy item that is more affected by the force of gravity than a light item? Was Ashlag not aware that free-fall acceleration depends on the mass of the object, or I am not getting something?

My Answer: In spirituality, the Light is attracted within the Kli (vessel/tool/receptacle), since there is no empty space at all. Space equals desire. It is comprised of five stages, from stage 0 through 4, stages of the desire’s size. The difference between the stages is not only in the desire’s size, quantitative, but qualitative, in the perception, realization of the desire and the Light. This is why stages 0-1-2-3 “indirectly” attract the Light. In other words, the Kli doesn’t yet know “what it is” and “what it is for,” and this is why in desires 0-3 the Light is still perceived as a light item. However, the fourth stage perceives the Light as its desired pleasure: it perceives the source of the Light, and this is why it desires it directly, inside. This is why the Light descends “Ba Yosher” directly toward it.

Related Material:
Kabbalah Blog Post: Talmud Eser Sefirot and the Need to Define Spirituality Correctly
Kabbalah Blog Post: Baal HaSulam’s Intention for Writing Talmud Eser Sefirot
Kabbalah Blog Post: What Is Spirituality? What Is a Soul?

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An Attack: How does the Upper Light become a fabric of our world? Do you know it for a fact? — No, you don’t! So here’s my proposal to correct this flaw in Kabbalah. If the singularity of substance and the Upper Light, Partzufim and Sefirot, was to be shown scientifically, then the Kabbalah teaching would conquer the world! But unless physics becomes part of Kabbalah, then it’s never going to happen.

An Attempt to Justify Myself: Who’s being categorical today? The singularity of substance and the Upper Light — No! It’s not that you don’t perceive the Upper Light because it’s hidden – the Upper Light simply doesn’t exist at all until you create it within yourself. Moreover, you lack the corresponding senses needed to create the Upper Light within yourself, and thus, you need to develop these senses. Kabbalah is the method of developing these senses. It reveals the Upper World to you, helping you develop the properties within which you create the Upper World for yourself.

Our world is something that our natural senses, given to us from birth, create within us. That what we perceive (picture) within these senses is referred to as “matter” – our world.

The Upper World is something that is created (pictured, depicted) within us by the spiritual senses that we acquire through Kabbalah. What we perceive through the spiritual senses is referred to as “the Light.”

The science of Kabbalah will never defeat the science of our world, because we perceive science and Kabbalah through two totally different systems: the corporeal and the spiritual.

So how is it going to happen? People will simply come to realize that their sensations, received through their natural senses (the corporeal life, our world), are unfulfilled, and that corporeal science, which is supposed to improve these sensations, is futile. People will reject both science and their sensations, and will hold onto them only to the extent needed for survival until they create the necessary properties, and accordingly, the sensations of the Upper World within themselves. They will then turn to the science of Kabbalah, which is the creation of an eternal and perfect world (sensation) within themselves.

You can try it out for yourself. Many people have already achieved this sensation.

Related Material:
Article: The Science of Kabbalah
Article: The Science of Kabbalah – A Method of Researching Man and the World
Article: Kabbalah as a Modern Teaching
Article: Kabbalah as Compared with Other Sciences
Article: Kabbalah as a Root of All Sciences

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A question I received: In relation to my previous question, if a person turns into a dull and somber person, wouldn’t it be difficult for him to endure spiritual descents, which always happen when one ascends up the levels? In many texts, Kabbalists link the correction of one’s qualities to the perfection of creation and equivalence of form with the Creator. Please help me solve this riddle.

My Answer: As a person who is spiritually progressing justifies the Creator in everything (and since he justifies everything, he is called righteous). It’s impossible for such a person to be dull and somber.

Growing closer to the Creator means gaining equivalence of form with Him. Instead of the qualities one was born with, one gains qualities that become revealed after the Machsom (barrier), from BYA de Tumah (ed. the impure worlds of BYA – BYA is short for Beria, Yetzira, Assiya), where the 613 qualities of real egoism (Pharoah) reside, those which are against the Creator. By changing one’s intentions from “for my own sake” to “for the sake of the Creator,” with the help of the Light of Torah, from BYA de Kedusha (ed. the holy worlds of BYA), a person thereby fulfills the 613 commandments and attains full equivalence and adhesion with the Creator. Naturally, this bears no relation to performing any actions with our animate body, as it is written “The Creator does not care for how one slaughters cattle – from the head or from the neck (that is, the mechanical observance), but rather the commandments were given in order to correct man.”

Related Material:
Chapter 15 from the Book Attaining the Worlds Beyond: Gradual Spiritual Correction
Chapter 18 from the Book Interview with the Future: A Spiritual Task
Chapter 2.12 in the Book The Path of Kabbalah: The Body at the End of Correction

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